I was very encouraged last week by a visit to a men’s time over breakfast.  It was great to hear them confess and forsake sin and a to see mercy and acceptance from men who have a few years of mileage between them.  Here are the questions that they weekly ask each other.

1. What has  intimacy with your wife look like this week?  (Marrieds only)
2. What has purity looked like this past week?
3. What has God taught you over the past week?
4. Is there anything else big going on in your life?

Hey guys, thanks to everyone who came out to our training sessions last night.  I was so encouraged by the questions that people came up with last night in my class, Going Beyond the Supper Club, that i wanted to post them so all could benefit.  The talk was about driving for depth in your community and going after aspects in our life that are below the surface not just the symptoms.  Scripture uses the word “Heart” to define the inmost part of a person: his will, desire, emotions, feelings, the core of who you are.  So, if these questions seem different than ones you may be asking people in your community group, know that the context of these questions is going after biblical “heart”.  Hope one or two of the questions will help your community group go below the surface.  Rob

Here are great questions to ask around people in your community group processing issues with scripture:

1)What scripture this week is tearing out your heart?

2) How are you applying what you read this week?

3) How have you been meditating on scripture this week? (Ps. 1)

4)How have your feelings or emotions lined up with scripture this week?

5) How are you taking every thought captive?  (2 Cor. 10)

6) What is an area of your life that the Lord wants to free you of?

Here are accountability questions to ask:

1) Who did you hurt this week or who has been hurt by your actions?

2)Who have you asked for forgiveness this week?

3) What were some the feelings, thoughts, emotions that you had before you sinned?

4)What have you struggled with this week?

5)What is something in you that is unloving?

6) What has consumed you this week?

7) What scripture speaks into you situation this week?

Here’s a few examples:  “My mom is sick, pray that the Lord would heal her”, “pray for my job, my boss is driving me crazy”, “pray that a buyer buys our house”, “pray that my brother would be saved”, or “pray for my relationship with my girlfriend around purity”.    Sound familiar?

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son,in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.-Romans 8:29

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18

So how do we begin to ask for prayer around conformation and as we lead people and teach them about prayer?

So, take the double fake “prayer requests” I listed above.  Think though how you would move peoples requests towards conformity prayer.

“My mom is sick, pray that the Lord would heal her”–> “Pray that I would believe that the Lord is Good (Ps. 100) even in the midst of mom’s sickness, and that the Lord would heal my mom.”

“pray for my job, my boss is driving me crazy” –> “pray that I would demonstrate patience (Gal. 5) and Contentness (Phil 3) and a love for my boss who feels like an enemy (matt. 5)”

“pray that a buyer buys our house” –> “Pray that the Lord would make me content even if no one buys our house and gives me peace (Gal 5)”

“pray that my brother would be saved” –> “Pray that my brother would be saved, that I would trust that only God can open his eyes (Luke 24:45), and for boldness on my part (2 Cor. 3:12). “

“pray for my relationship with my girlfriend around purity”. –> “Pray that I would find contentment in the Lord, that he would be enough to satisfy (phil 3-4) and that i would find life in being obedient to the king around purity (1 Cor. 6)”

I think you get the point.  Not that we shouldn’t pray for external circumstances, but our focus should be internal conformation.  The overwhelming model Paul gives us in his letters is not to get out of prison, which had to be miserable if you have ever seen a dungeon or ancient prison, but that the he would look like Christ in prison to those the Lord put in his path.

So, how are you doing modeling this?  How well is your group doing here?  Try asking this question next time you are taking prayer requests, “hey what do you think the Lord would like to change in you around the issue you just mentioned”.    Also, it will let you know people very well and where they need to grow.  It will drive for incredible depth.  Let me know what you think.  Rob

Out of all of the elements that are the makeup of authentic biblical community, confession is the value and action that carries the most weight with me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not disagreeing with Jesus in Matthew 22 when He says that the two greatest commandments are loving God and loving others, I simply believe confession is an action that kills two birds with one stone.  My life has changed dramatically as I have meditated on James 5:16, “therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other, so that you may be healed.”  Let me briefly flush out the “stone of confession” as seen in community.  Now, I get upset stomach thinking about confessing to my wife and my guys group that I got stuck watching 5 minutes of Spike TV, where women were not fully clothed, but there is healing there.

We have a God that has not only saved us eternally, but wants to redeem, deliver, and save us out of something right now.  Just for fun, watch how Jesus always wants to pull people out of their current situation and have them find life in Him.  So, confession is the act of communicating two truths to God and others:  1) the sin that I have run to and  2) I am trusting the Lord to save me out of this sin.  The act of trusting God is the action of loving God, and it is loving others enough to let people know, “the true you.”   John Cox always says, “Facts are your friends,” which is a statement that I love but the reality of the facts are hard to swallow.  Communicating to people around you, “the facts” about who you are allows them to participate and watch a transforming and saving God work in your life.  Leaders are people who lead out and set the culture around them.  How are you leading out in the area of confession?  What sin do you need to confess to those in your community, so that you can be known and that they can know what God is saving you out of?

By: Rob Barry