It’s been refreshing to hang out with our group link groups over the past few weeks just to remind me what’s it’s like to start a group with people that you don’t know and you’re not totally sure if you really like them. I’ve been stuck in my own journey with our 2.5 year group and feel like I can draw deep from the “experience well” and how scripture is grinding on us to help us love each other. We’re in the stage where more and more issues are “put on the table” or exposed that they’re “not on the table”. Here’s an example of what I mean, then I circle back to what I’m learning about new groups.
TV is one of those areas in my life that I don’t have self-control. When it’s on, I have a hard time turning it off, when it’s off; I’m constantly thinking about what’s on. When I’m tired, I think, “I’ll just watch a little bit of Letterman”, then an hour goes by and I’m exhausted the next day. Anyway, I was obsessed about finding the right TV last holiday season. I’m a researcher, so literally 20 hours researching, looking at black Friday ads, etc. and the men in my group said, “hold on…you’ve been telling us that TV is an area in your life that kills your engagement with your family, you can’t demonstrate self control, sucks life out of you, why would you want to buy something that you feel like doesn’t help you engage your family or Jesus?” All that to say that I was ticked. The option of not buying a TV for me was not even “on the table”. I was going to buy a TV; I just need help buying the right TV. I drove away from that Starbucks, thinking…scripture would call me a fool (Pr 10:8; 12:15if I would ignore the counsel of those around me.
I didn’t buy the TV, the cable got disconnected, and I haven’t watched 1 minute of TV in my house since Thanksgiving. My connection with my family has been better than ever. So in my group’s life stage it’s about “what is not on the table”? Is the way you spend money, the schools your kids go to, your sex life (married), free time, etc. That’s our life stage.
I always wanted to paint the vision for new groups as getting to a place to “what’s not on the table” and more and more I feel like that may be wrong. It’s almost like telling my almost 4 year old son Jackson that Christ is calling us to die to ourselves daily and physically for his name’s sake), “if anyone wants to save his life he must lose it (Mt. 16:25)”. He’s just not there yet, but by God’s grace we will get there. Right now we’re talking with Jackson about God and being thankful for God’s provision. You talk to groups, cast vision for groups the same way you would your child; it’s all about life stage. So here’s my plea and vision for new groups (groups under a year)…
Plant the Tree. 15 years ago my friend’s dad told me something that I have gone back to over and over again. Plant the Tree. It had to do with a political decision that was the best thing for our country, but it would take 15 years to generate huge financial value. So think huge investment with no payout for 15 years. My friend’s dad said, “When’s the best time to plant the tree?” I looked at him with a blank stare. “15 years ago”, he said. Still a blank stare because I know nothing about trees and didn’t know at the time he was speaking figuratively. “When’s the second best time to plant the tree”, he said with a pause, “Today”.
Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean,
but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox (Pr. 14:4)
So my ask is, are you willing to plant the tree today? Put work in to dig the hole and plant the tree (commit to meeting together), and water the newly planted tree so it can survive the shock stage (start getting real with each other over time), and realize that if you don’t care for the tree, fertilize it and water it will die (you must nurture the group with the only thing that matters Christ-Jn. 15:5). It may take years to get any shade, but are you doing the things you need to do to get there?
