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Going Beyond the Supper Club

Posted by rbarry on March 31, 2010 | Filed under: Applying God's Word,Authentic Sharing,Developing Relationships,Intimacy with Christ,Next Faith Steps — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , —

Hey guys, thanks to everyone who came out to our training sessions last night.  I was so encouraged by the questions that people came up with last night in my class, Going Beyond the Supper Club, that i wanted to post them so all could benefit.  The talk was about driving for depth in your community and going after aspects in our life that are below the surface not just the symptoms.  Scripture uses the word “Heart” to define the inmost part of a person: his will, desire, emotions, feelings, the core of who you are.  So, if these questions seem different than ones you may be asking people in your community group, know that the context of these questions is going after biblical “heart”.  Hope one or two of the questions will help your community group go below the surface.  Rob

Here are great questions to ask around people in your community group processing issues with scripture:

1)What scripture this week is tearing out your heart?

2) How are you applying what you read this week?

3) How have you been meditating on scripture this week? (Ps. 1)

4)How have your feelings or emotions lined up with scripture this week?

5) How are you taking every thought captive?  (2 Cor. 10)

6) What is an area of your life that the Lord wants to free you of?

Here are accountability questions to ask:

1) Who did you hurt this week or who has been hurt by your actions?

2)Who have you asked for forgiveness this week?

3) What were some the feelings, thoughts, emotions that you had before you sinned?

4)What have you struggled with this week?

5)What is something in you that is unloving?

6) What has consumed you this week?

7) What scripture speaks into you situation this week?

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Rethinking Prayer

Posted by rbarry on March 10, 2010 | Filed under: Applying God's Word,Authentic Sharing,Developing Relationships,Intimacy with Christ,Next Faith Steps — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , —

I’ve been doing a lotof thinking just around the topic of prayer and specifically how we pray.  Prayer tends to be focused around changing circumstances vs praying to conform into the image of Christ.  Just let that sink in for awhile… Think about how we typically talk about prayer requests or take prayer requests from our community of friends.  Typically it’s about asking the Lord to change something outside of us.

Here’s a few examples:  “My mom is sick, pray that the Lord would heal her”, “pray for my job, my boss is driving me crazy”, “pray that a buyer buys our house”, “pray that my brother would be saved”, or “pray for my relationship with my girlfriend around purity”.    Sound familiar?

For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son,in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.-Romans 8:29

And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18

So how do we begin to ask for prayer around conformation and as we lead people and teach them about prayer?

So, take the double fake “prayer requests” I listed above.  Think though how you would move peoples requests towards conformity prayer.

“My mom is sick, pray that the Lord would heal her”–> “Pray that I would believe that the Lord is Good (Ps. 100) even in the midst of mom’s sickness, and that the Lord would heal my mom.”

“pray for my job, my boss is driving me crazy” –> “pray that I would demonstrate patience (Gal. 5) and Contentness (Phil 3) and a love for my boss who feels like an enemy (matt. 5)”

“pray that a buyer buys our house” –> “Pray that the Lord would make me content even if no one buys our house and gives me peace (Gal 5)”

“pray that my brother would be saved” –> “Pray that my brother would be saved, that I would trust that only God can open his eyes (Luke 24:45), and for boldness on my part (2 Cor. 3:12). “

“pray for my relationship with my girlfriend around purity”. –> “Pray that I would find contentment in the Lord, that he would be enough to satisfy (phil 3-4) and that i would find life in being obedient to the king around purity (1 Cor. 6)”

I think you get the point.  Not that we shouldn’t pray for external circumstances, but our focus should be internal conformation.  The overwhelming model Paul gives us in his letters is not to get out of prison, which had to be miserable if you have ever seen a dungeon or ancient prison, but that the he would look like Christ in prison to those the Lord put in his path.

So, how are you doing modeling this?  How well is your group doing here?  Try asking this question next time you are taking prayer requests, “hey what do you think the Lord would like to change in you around the issue you just mentioned”.    Also, it will let you know people very well and where they need to grow.  It will drive for incredible depth.  Let me know what you think.  Rob

 

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Plant the Tree

Posted by rbarry on March 3, 2010 | Filed under: Developing Relationships,Next Faith Steps — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , —

It’s been refreshing to hang out with our group link groups over the past few weeks just to remind me what’s it’s like to start a group with people that you don’t know and you’re not totally sure if you really like them.  I’ve been stuck in my own journey with our 2.5 year group and feel like I can draw deep from the “experience well” and how scripture is grinding on us to help us love each other.  We’re in the stage where more and more issues are “put on the table” or exposed that they’re “not on the table”.  Here’s an example of what I mean, then I circle back to what I’m learning about new groups.

TV is one of those areas in my life that I don’t have self-control.  When it’s on, I have a hard time turning it off, when it’s off; I’m constantly thinking about what’s on.  When I’m tired, I think, “I’ll just watch a little bit of Letterman”, then an hour goes by and I’m exhausted the next day.  Anyway, I was obsessed about finding the right TV last holiday season.  I’m a researcher, so literally 20 hours researching, looking at black Friday ads, etc. and the men in my group said, “hold on…you’ve been telling us that TV is an area in your life that kills your engagement with your family, you can’t demonstrate self control, sucks life out of you, why would you want to buy something that you feel like doesn’t help you engage your family or Jesus?”  All that to say that I was ticked.   The option of not buying a TV for me was not even “on the table”.  I was going to buy a TV; I just need help buying the right TV.  I drove away from that Starbucks, thinking…scripture would call me a fool (Pr 10:8; 12:15if I would ignore the counsel of those around me.

I didn’t buy the TV, the cable got disconnected, and I haven’t watched 1 minute of TV in my house since Thanksgiving. My connection with my family has been better than ever.  So in my group’s life stage it’s about “what is not on the table”?  Is the way you spend money, the schools your kids go to, your sex life (married), free time, etc.  That’s our life stage.

I always wanted to paint the vision for new groups as getting to a place to “what’s not on the table” and more and more I feel like that may be wrong.  It’s almost like telling my almost 4 year old son Jackson that Christ is calling us to die to ourselves daily and physically for his name’s sake), “if anyone wants to save his life he must lose it (Mt. 16:25)”.  He’s just not there yet, but by God’s grace we will get there.  Right now we’re talking with Jackson about God and being thankful for God’s provision.  You talk to groups, cast vision for groups the same way you would your child; it’s all about life stage.  So here’s my plea and vision for new groups (groups under a year)…

Plant the Tree.  15 years ago my friend’s dad told me something that I have gone back to over and over again.  Plant the Tree.  It had to do with a political decision that was the best thing for our country, but it would take 15 years to generate huge financial value.  So think huge investment with no payout for 15 years.  My friend’s dad said, “When’s the best time to plant the tree?”  I looked at him with a blank stare.  “15 years ago”, he said.  Still a blank stare because I know nothing about trees and didn’t know at the time he was speaking figuratively.  “When’s the second best time to plant the tree”, he said  with a pause, “Today”.

Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean,

but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox (Pr. 14:4)

So my ask is, are you willing to plant the tree today?  Put work in to dig the hole and plant the tree (commit to meeting together), and water the newly planted tree so it can survive the shock stage (start getting real with each other over time), and realize that if you don’t care for the tree, fertilize it and water it will die (you must nurture the group with the only thing that matters Christ-Jn. 15:5).  It may take years to get any shade, but are you doing the things you need to do to get there?

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Confessional Community

Posted by jhawkins on October 29, 2009 | Filed under: Authentic Sharing — Tags: , , , , —

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Out of all of the elements that are the makeup of authentic biblical community, confession is the value and action that carries the most weight with me.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not disagreeing with Jesus in Matthew 22 when He says that the two greatest commandments are loving God and loving others, I simply believe confession is an action that kills two birds with one stone.  My life has changed dramatically as I have meditated on James 5:16, “therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other, so that you may be healed.”  Let me briefly flush out the “stone of confession” as seen in community.  Now, I get upset stomach thinking about confessing to my wife and my guys group that I got stuck watching 5 minutes of Spike TV, where women were not fully clothed, but there is healing there.

We have a God that has not only saved us eternally, but wants to redeem, deliver, and save us out of something right now.  Just for fun, watch how Jesus always wants to pull people out of their current situation and have them find life in Him.  So, confession is the act of communicating two truths to God and others:  1) the sin that I have run to and  2) I am trusting the Lord to save me out of this sin.  The act of trusting God is the action of loving God, and it is loving others enough to let people know, “the true you.”   John Cox always says, “Facts are your friends,” which is a statement that I love but the reality of the facts are hard to swallow.  Communicating to people around you, “the facts” about who you are allows them to participate and watch a transforming and saving God work in your life.  Leaders are people who lead out and set the culture around them.  How are you leading out in the area of confession?  What sin do you need to confess to those in your community, so that you can be known and that they can know what God is saving you out of?

By: Rob Barry

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