WHAT IS CHALLENGING YOU?
Thanks to all of your journeying with us on Thursday nights. There has been some great feedback from folks who attended Week 1! It is so exciting to be wrestling through this material with you…truly. Please leave comments to this post and let us know, from the readings, your personal devotions, or interactions with others:
WHAT HAS BEEN CHALLENGING YOU?
23 responses so far
I actually have to include lots of answers, as I got challenged so many times!
(1) Me sitting in my prosperity and not fully pursuing Isaiah 58 is counter to what God’s vision is for His world and His people. Page 13 said “Is this pleasing God? Is this His vision of what His world should look like?”
(2) I need to stop telling myself I am in any way frugal, moderate, etc in my stewardship. I spend more on a date night with Natalie than what many (millions…probably billions…) in this world earn in a year. I really do mock Proverbs 30:8-9 (“Give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I am deny you.”).
(3) I am incredibly self-centered. I don’t want to engage with others if it is in anyway inconvenient. Very similar to what Gary Haugen shared in service yesterday about focus on me, my family, and others that I like…but nothing beyond that.
(4) I need to continue to shine a light on my lifestyle which reduces the “excess” I have to use for the Lord’s work (see 12 Corinthians 8:13-14). The current is so strong in Dallas, so it makes it so easy for me to miss the mark here. I need to keep pressing here and be challenged by those who love me.
(5) I love the quote on page 27 which really convicted me in my sin – “My ‘take care of myself’ attitude has isolated me…my individualism wins out over Jesus’ love for the poor, breeding my neglect of others. I’ve slowly and subtly accepted the lie that helping myself [and my family] first is wise, justified, and just good sense.” I think I am purposeful about combating these world problems with my EXCESS but only after I lavishly spend on myself and family first. My luxuries (schools, clothes, spacious house, vacations, etc) are more important to me than the basic needs (minimal food, shelter, and clothing) of others. It is sick. If the basic needs of others were important to me, I would not give out of an excess that is calculated after I spoil myself rotten. I think one solution for me is to think of ways to be a SACRIFICIAL GIVER where I sacrifice (using term sacrifice loosely) in a tangible way with the specific goal of giving to meet a specific need. For instance, begin skipping a couple meals a week in order to free up funds for giving. Or changing the venue for date nights to something cheaper. I love Chan’s quote in a recent sermon when folks say they can’t give quite as much because they are saving for an emergency…and Chan says “Oh, I get it, you are saving for an emergency, and you don’t consider little girls in brothels oR people starving to death an emergency. What you really mean is you are saving for an emergency in your life.”
(6) End of verse iSAIAH 58:7 really hit me where Isaiah references the previous sections about whether to feed the hungry, provide the wanderer shelter, and clothe the naked…and then says “not to turn away from your own flesh and blood.” Ouch. As I mentioned earlier, I have a different stand of needs for me and my family…but Isaiah (really God) calls these hungry, homeless, and naked my flesh and blood. I intend to noodle more on the verse and unpack.
Praying for clarity and removing of hard scales from my heart followed by what James calls “showing my faith by my works.”
I haven’t finished week 1 yet but am having my tail kicked by what I’ve done so far (and when I talk to others from the class, it’s their first comment as well!). I have wrestled with EVERY thing Beau wrote (except for the wife/kids part! ha!). The main thing that hit home with me in what Beau wrote is my idea of ‘sacrificial’ … I think I’m sacrificial because I haven’t bought a new car, haven’t tried to upgrade house, usually buy my clothes at Target and Buffalo Exchange, have started working part-time (‘sacrificing’ career and more money) to serve others, etc. but has that really COST me anything? C’mon, Lewis, like it HURTS and it’s a SACRIFICE to drive a 1999 dented/scratched Avalon?! Please! Sister, PLEASE! I love one of the quotes from Chan (actually David Livingstone) that we should be very careful talking about sacrifice in light of what Christ did – really, is ANY of this sacrifice (even if I actually gave car away and took the bus!) in light of CHRIST’s sacrifice of his LIFE?! And, the savings question too, I just finished MoneyWise with community group and we’re all (mostly) debt-free, driving older cars, saving as we can (though I’m probably one in most danger of too much savings?! am I trusting the Lord or trusting my savings account?!), etc. but don’t have a context/grid/example (oh, yeah, except Scripture!) to know how/where to do otherwise. What is reasonable amount in savings and for what?! How much to give? I have historically said that if Christ/God is my ‘first love’ then he will be my priority in spending – so, have a rule of thumb that my giving/others should be the most expensive thing in my ‘budget’ (over mortgage which is my biggest line item). But, as I’ve wrestled with it, I don’t know how to even sometimes enjoy a cup of coffee without thinking that there are bigger needs than my pleasure at SBUX. Again, where’s the sacrifice? And, thankfully, it’s not guilt – it’s wrestling with the Lord. It’s the ‘excess’ question Beau raised. Oh, yeah, and whose emergencies?! I’m definitely saving for mine!
Beau, I think that the other part you mentioned that makes me grateful for what Lord has done for me is the exposure part – I think that’s a key part of the puzzle to stir our hearts. I KNOW I can keep driving my car when I think that my car alone is WAY MORE than all my 15 boys in Zambia have combined! And, none of the girls we work wtih in S. Dallas have a car – they’re grateful to have a bus ticket (a monthly bus PASS would be JACKPOT). So, getting to know those folks personally (by name, by story) helps me enjoy what I have and more joyfully maintain a lower standard of living. Man, LOVE what you wrote about giving the excess away after spoiling yourself rotten! Lord has, in recent years, addressed vacation budgets for me – and, by His grace, I really don’t think I’ve missed out and I’m thankful for that!
Lord, have our hearts, have our finances, have your way in us! I KNOW it is your sweet convicting Word that is dividing our souls and spirits and I am THANKFUL because, apart from you, I would NOT release these resources, care about the poor, get stinky, and love the least, last, lost and lonely. Lord, help us give to our own flesh and blood. Forgive us for being Israelites! Thank you for the example of Christ that gave ALL so that we could have life. May we SURRENDER for the lives of our own flesh and blood. May you be glorified and lifted high as we humble ourselves, give up our ‘rights’, and serve others like you did. Show us, our Savior, what that looks like. Is it possible to be irresponsible? If so, show us. If not, help us to be radical for you and give you all the glory!
I have been challenged in so many ways. I am so grateful that God has not allowed me to continue walking along being blind and deaf to the cries of the poor and suffering. It seems like Has been preparing my family to really receive the truth of this message for months. I just finished reading Rob Bell’s new book “Jesus wants to save the Church” a few days before starting the Hope lives class. So it flowed so smoothly together. What Rob Bell had to say really tracked right along side the message of this bible study. I have been reading the daily readings a couple a day to get caught up and I am so moved, so broken hearted and so convicted that I need God to completely transform me. When you add onto that the visit from International Justice mission, I am filled with passion that not only do I have to be transformed, but I must be a voice crying out loudly for the cause. I want to cry out “Wake Up!!!”.
I must be honest, we are not well off. We struggle to pay our bills month to month. God is faithful to send our provision, but we are very frugal and don’t spend a lot of money on extras, entertainment, clothes, going out to eat or anything like that. We have enough to feed our family of 7 and pay the bills juggling them a bit to stretch the money. That being said, it has been really easy for me say, we cannot really afford to live, let alone help other people. I have felt justified in our selfish little bubble. I have been struck, though, with how much more we have than the majority of the world. We may not have much by the American standard, but we are in the top 10% of the world.
When I left Sams after grocery shopping I just kept thinking, ” I just spent the equivalent of a years salary for two Ethiopians on groceries for my family for two weeks.” My heart was heavy. I keep thinking, “How many children died today?” Kind of like the end of Shindlers list. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and realize that I let x amount of children suffer and die b/c I spent my resources on unnecessary things. We may not have health insurance, but if one of my children gets deathly ill, I live in a country where I can take them to any hospital and get them treated.
I began to pray and think, “what could we do to have something to give?” We really cannot cut our budget back, there isn’t much extra after necessities have been covered. But then it came to me, I have been blessed with resources to manufacture money. God allowed me, before money got tight, to purchase an amazing Embroidery machine and software. He also gave me the gift of creativity. So I have begun planning a line of bags, accessories, and whatever I can create to sell. All the proceeds will go to support different organizations such as IJM and Compassion international and others. It is in the works still. I will have a blog and an Etsy page to support and market. I will get more details and links out as I get them up and running. The products are still in the design phase, but hopefully I will have the beginning stages up and running in the next week or so.
I am really excited and motivated to begin making a difference. I am glad the God will not allow me to continue to excuse our family from serving. I am glad He has showed me how to stop focusing on what we don’t have and look at what all that we do have. Thank you Jeff for this class and for this thread.
Blessings to all.
I have been challenged, convicted, enlightened and humbled!!!…in that order. I always considered myself a ‘generous’ person; i give monthly to 4 organizations that capture my heart and at the end of the year I give to families in my home country of Peru a small percentage of my monthly salary so that they can have a half decent Christmas……….aren’t I awesome?!?
I give monetarily, what I haven’t done is given of myself!!! and for that matter when I went back and looked at my monthly salary, compared to what I gave ,i was actually surprised that it was less then 5%!!!uuuurrrghhhhh..what was I thinking?!; obviously wanting to make sure that I was taken care of, by putting MORE then 5% of it away for a rainy day….putting trust in myself and not the Lord
I have also discovered that like Beau,I am self centered, i give my time and attention generously to friends, family and those I like, but if it is going to be an inconvenience, well that’s another matter, and besides, I already give…….. remember, I give to 4 organizations on a monthly basis.
Time to get real………………
My heart has always gone out to children, oppressed women and animals…..I haven’t necessarily known what I could offer…but page 42 breaks it down for me and truly spoke to me….” He isn’t asking me to carry the burden of the whole world or fix the whole world or be in charge of making sure everything turn out just right. He carries that burden. He asks me simply to love HIM and love others and act accordingly.
I am just starting to study scripture so I don’t know if this is scripture or if it is someones saying…but it also resonated within me…’To whom much is given, much is required’ …….I need to do more!
I pray that the Lord continues to trigger my heart, convict me, humble me, challenge me and to show me how to serve others.
I thought I would share a recent article I read in the Dallas Morning News which captures the poverty right here in our backyard.
——————————-
Julie Lyons: Spiritual solutions to what ails South Dallas
We’d hear a voice through a gash in the screen door. “Come in,” she’d say weakly, and we’d reach in, pull up the hook and step inside. The first thing to hit us was the stench: urine and rotted food. Debris was strewn about, and a large paint bucket – a makeshift toilet – sat in the middle of the living-room floor.The 80-year-old woman was perched half-dressed in the dark on a soiled couch. Several members of my South Dallas church would check on her twice a week, and each visit opened wider a window into her dire circumstances. Stepping over junk on slippery floors, venturing into back rooms, we saw that she had no working refrigerator. No telephone. No lights. No running water.
Though portraits of family members lined her living-room walls, she subsisted on plates of food from neighbors and hungrily devoured whatever gifts of food we brought.
Just 50 feet away from the woman’s home, the neighborhood drug kingpin – an articulate, disarmingly friendly man who waves at me when I drive by on my way to church – stood in a vacant lot, overseeing his minions, while a crew of teenage girls, some balancing babies in their laps, hovered around him.
Across the street at a small grocery, a woman in daisy dukes walked up to the window of a car and leaned in: prostitution or drugs or both.
This is the South Dallas I see every week as I go door-to-door with an evangelism team from my church of 19 years, The Body of Christ Assembly, and let’s just say it is a far cry from my middle-class upbringing. The lifestyles we view up close are the result of a generation’s accretion of despair and family breakdowns, not a sudden decision to do dirty or give up on the straight life. Rapping on doors and talking to people we meet has borne out what my pastor, Fredrick L. Eddington Sr., has said for many years: Spiritual conditions require spiritual solutions.
You can pluck an individual out of this environment, he’d say, plant them in a spanking-new home, and within a few years it would resemble the crumbling frame rental homes that dominate these streets. You could spend tens of thousands of dollars on some slick social program, but without a personal transformation from the inside out, the benefits would linger no longer than a free lunch.
Pastor Eddington knows what he’s talking about. He grew up in South Dallas, and he came out of a background of drugs and mental illness. He has dedicated his life to pulling other men and women out of hopelessness, and I tell his story in my new book Holy Roller: Finding Redemption and the Holy Ghost in a Forgotten Texas Church.
We have seen political, social and economic initiatives come and go over the years, but we have observed little lasting change except what takes place when a person is freed from addictions and desperation through a continuing relationship with Jesus Christ and a loving spiritual family.
If that just sounds like Christian propaganda, maybe you should spend a little time with us as we knock on doors. This is what I’ve discovered, in anecdotal lessons that go far beneath the dismal statistical data (the estimated median household income in this part of South Dallas in 2007 was $17,475, less than half of the average for communities across Texas, according to city-data.com):
•Every well kept, owner-occupied home is inhabited by a family with a strong church connection.
•Virtually every inner-city kid with high academic achievements whose name appears in the pages of this newspaper cites a relationship with Jesus Christ as one of the biggest factors in his or her success.
•No one gets out of drug addictions such as crack cocaine and heroin without spiritual intervention and the strong support of a church.
•Few escape a family legacy of poverty without the discipline and hopeful perspective afforded by a church upbringing.
In South Dallas, you will find more church houses per block than anywhere in the city. But most of these congregations, safely ensconced indoors and serving just a few families, barely touch the communities they’re in. They could play a big part in the revitalization of South Dallas, but first they’d have to push outside their comfort zones and, as Jesus Christ said, lay down their lives for their friends. Because money alone won’t remedy the problems right outside their doors.
Well since there hasn’t been much activity on this blog, I think I will post again. This class is really rocking my world. I am overwhelmed with discontent. I am filled with sorrow for the stories of despair and pain. I am overflowing with gratitude that God has not left me to be content to miss the adventure. As I read the stories and see the faces, I am seared deeper in my soul to NEVER FORGET, NEVER fall back into apathy and complacency. I pray that God will continue to break my heart, loosen the shackles of materialism and entitlement, and fill my heart with a passion for the oppressed, the orphans, the widows, the marginalized. I have a precious, beautiful, 8 year old little girl named Chloe Grace (her name means Blossoming, Unmerited Favor of God). My heart aches at the thought of her sitting on the floor rolling cigarettes 12 hours a day, but there are millions of children who are Chloe to someone else that do just that or worse. I pray that I never forget those children when I look at her.
My prayer for our church is that our congregation (including myself) would have the veil of denial ripped from top to bottom. That we would be so filled with compassion and brokenness that we would stop buying things we don’t need and stop chasing the vaporous American dream and begin to TRULY store up our treasure in Heaven. I pray that we would collect God’s beautiful gems, made in his image, rather than those things that moths and rust will destroy which are temporal and leave our souls empty as sucking air through a straw to fill stomachs. I pray that those of us who have participated in this class would rise up prophets shouting “WAKE UP”. I pray that we would “comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable”. I pray that we would not fear what man can do to us or what man would think of us, but that we would not stop telling the truth until the revolution takes over Watermark and the Body of Christ.
Forgive me if I have come across too strong. I cannot contain the passion that is boiling up in my soul. I am daily filled with sorrow, hope, and prayers that God will not let me be content anywhere but on the cliff of faith where I cannot succeed with out His hand.
What if we stopped keeping storage units for all the excess we have and started giving away all that we don’t need and more? What would the world have to say about Christians then? Because currently they are laughing at us b/c we don’t live any differently than they do. (And I am definitely not excluding myself in the we. I am GUILTY AS CHARGED).
Wow. This challenge from Jeff is coming ALL OVER ME! Spent an hour in the parking lot after class talking with my roommate and various friends that moseyed (sp?) by from our class or others … for every person, it was the same conversation … reviewing Jeff’s challenge to us to identify with the poor ($1/day, no AC, sleeping on streets, no running water in house …) and we’d start in on which was hardest, how they helped us identify with the poor, how we’d actually do it, etc.
And, after my first day, it’s been WAY more thought-provoking than I expected. So, I sit down to write without an outline or agenda but just to share my day/experiences with others that may or may not care
And, I warn you at this point that brevity or clarity aren’t my strengths! And, I’m too lazy to go through at the end and edit so it will be stream of consciousness, unedited. Have I sufficiently disclaimed this yet?! 
If not, let me clarify. Warning: RANDOM THOUGHTS BELOW!
On MANY occasions, I’ve thought about immersion in another culture (either Africa or inner city) but never done it. I had a melt-down in a slum compound in Zambia in 2006 because I was completely OVERCOME by the poverty in one afternoon so couldn’t imagine how people I knew/loved (my boys that I’d had all week at camp) could actually LIVE there. Somehow, in that day, it went from being ‘someone else’ to being ‘someone I loved.’ And, it hurt. But, it’s easy to come back from Africa and to get back into my ‘richness routine’ (didn’t know how rich I was until this class but considering I have running water, shoes, and car … filthy rich!)
So, my roommate (Gigi) and I decided that we’d try fasting (with another friend of ours in class) and we decided we should try street-sleeping. We actually thought the easiest on the list was noAC (especially comical to my roommate because, according to her, I pretty much live without it now – I’m quite the ‘saver’ type and don’t think AC needs to be on full-blast on the time!) so, as of last night after class, our AC was turned off and we thougth we’d try no AC (car or house) for the week … decided that doing anything for a day was almost too easy and tempting to not have to really EXPERIENCE it because, at any point that it’s difficult, it’s also ‘almost over’ if only a day. So, our plan was to go for 1 week. But, sadly, by first thing this morning, we were talking about how it would be ok if we just did it for the weekend. And, as I came up on about 20 hours, I’m COMPLETELY shocked by how hard it is! I woke up warm but it wasn’t unbearable (we have an attic fan and slept with windows open – though, admittedly, we thought attic fan was half-cheating) and found my roommate sitting on back porch. I asked, ‘so, do we now know why everybody in Africa is always sitting OUTSIDE their houses?!’ and she responded quickly, ‘yep’! I got out of the shower and dried my hair (not fun to have heat blowing!) and then off to work which wasn’t so fun. When I got out at Dunkin Donuts (recently converted when it’s convenient because this class and other situations have me more aware of $$ and luxuries … though, as I’ll confess shortly, I’m actually writing this FROM Starbucks) I realized that it was CONSIDERABLY cooler in there and it occurred to me that this is why homeless people loiter … why, of course, it’s cooler in those places than on the streets or un-airconditioned car or the home they don’t have! So, I go to work and that was FUN because I got to tell an unbelieving coworker at my client (who already thinks I’m crazy and can’t believe I would drive the 1999 Avalon when I can afford another car … and doesn’t miss opportunities to chide me about it!) what I was doing and why. He confesses his materialism and love of comfort. I confess the same. And (though admittedly somewhat subtle and under my breath) say, “… apart from the grace of God, I wouldn’t care.” So, he thinks I’m crazy but, I think (or so I tell myself), respectfully so! So, I leave for lunch in my car without AC and then drive to my beloved ChickFilA but, rather than drive-thru, I realize it’s too hot for me to sit in my car because it was TOO HOT. So, I went into eat and, again, realizing why homeless people would loiter … but also sadly realizing that they don’t have $ for Dunkin Donuts coffee or CFA (though I did use a coupon, it still cost $1.71 that they don’t have!) so don’t have opportunity to go in those places and enjoy the AC. [OK, as I sit here in SBUX typing, a man comes and is digging through the paper next to me ... according to my nose, definitely homeless ... and I now more fully understand why these people hangout/loiter in these places!] Then, my next stop was the body shop. Back to that Avalon … well, it is polka-dotted because on a trip to Africa I didn’t park in garage and, in case you didn’t know, bird-poop + sun = messed up paint job! I’ve used that paint job as a reason (let’s say EXCUSE!) to contemplate getting another car (paying cash, of course, thinking that makes the decision ‘ok’ … regardless of fact that I don’t need!?). So, decided recently that (and, ugh, don’t even want to type this because I feel exposed/accountable) I should drive her until 1 of 2 things happens: 1. a friend that I know and already look forward to giving it to gets in a bind where she doesn’t have a car at all (gave her my old car in past and, though that one since died, she still has wheels at present) or 2. it dies. Because, really, the fact that it’s called the ‘geezer pleaser’ in a newspaper article (average age of drive is twice my age!) or funky color does NOT warrant spending GOD’s money on a new car. Ugh. In my flesh, I wish it did! So, I”m praying about a cheap paint job (got quotes today) that will allow me to enjoy it without criticism (ie, see it as WEALTH that it is!) and give it to someone else in better shape when/if that day comes.
SO … back to point … when I went into body shop, my shirt is covered in sweat. So, guess what?! Since I have no shame or filter (as you’ve probably discerned from reading if you don’t already know me), I shared with the sales guy WHY I was covered in sweat (no AC) … the girl over-hearing gave me a thumbs-up while he looked at me like I was half-crazy and MAYBE on to something
He said, “I guess everybody needs a little Jesus …” I told him I needed a LOT of Jesus! Thanks, Lord, for a chance to share with someone else what YOU are doing in my life! I pray that you would draw Chris to yourself and may the church look different as we seek to serve others and, ultimately, glorify our Savior and grow YOUR Kingdom!
So, after getting second quote, I realized that it was going to be hot at home … so came to SBUX (AC!). One of girls that works here has become friend over years so Trish said, ‘getting hot out there?!” Was it the sun shining or the sweat all around my mid-section that tipped her off?! We had a great conversation about this little experiment we’re doing (with another barista listening in!). I then ordered water because as she and I discussed, most homeless people don’t have $4 for a cup of coffee to give them permission to sit indoors. Ugh!
So, shortly, I’ll head home. My roommate just texted asking how hot it was there (assuming I was there) and expressed concern over our dog!
[We just MIGHT be smitten with this 4-legged friend!] Oh, but that brings up another rant … after my first year in Africa, it occurred to me that it was WRONG that most American dogs live SO MUCH BETTER than any of my boys in Zambia or 80% of the world! My dog has more than one bed to lay in, several toys, access to fresh water (though he’s perfectly fine with toilet much to Gigi’s chagrin!), access to vet (within walking distance, about 1/4 mile), and hasn’t missed a meal in last few years (unless roommate out of town and I forgot to feed MY dog!). So, what’s wrong with this picture?! My DOG lives better than 80% of the world. I don’t think that means I need to start mis-treating my dog (who probably feels mistreated now with air off!) but makes me think it’s COMPLETELY ridiculous for me not to allocate a larger portion of my resources to the needs of people/children in the world than I do for my dog! So, from that time forward, I committed that I can’t spend more on Willie than I do on the needs of a specific child (or needs of children) in the world.
So, here I sit in air-conditioned Starbucks and plan to head home to my HOT house … but can I complain when I have clothes, car, food aplenty, running water … indeed, I am RICH. And, I am SO GRATEFUL for this HARD exercise of identifying with the poor. As I told friends in the parking lot last night, even TALKING about these things advanced me significantly in compassion and action … and, now, to actually EXPERIENCE it allows me, by His grace, to care more and allows Him to have greater access to my heart. And, that brings to mind Jesus’ words in sermon on the mount, “for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also …” I pray that He moves my HEART through this class, experience, HIs Word, and Spirit so that my TREASURES will rightly follow!
Sorry for the crazy-long entry and forgive the stream of consciousness. But, just felt like I HAD TO SHARE and the only people that MIGHT CARE are in our class (and even a smaller percentage that might actually read this … or finish reading this novella if they start!)
Thanks for sharing Jennifer. I appreciate you sharing your experience and thoughts. It is not too long. I am glad to see people posting. I was kind of disappointed that more people didn’t post. Thanks for sharing.
I also stayed after class talking to others about the “experiments in poverty” that Jeff suggested in class on Thursday. Many of the tasks seemed to difficult to do… really only $1 for the whole day, or no water… we talked about about all kinds of things that we would need to do in order to be able to to these things, like walk to public parks/places and get water (and trying carrying on head!) or telling people at establishments that we were trying to live on $1 a day like the rest of the world, so that maybe they would give us food!
We also discussed sleeping outside and a group of us decided to do that on Thursday night after class. Want to join us? Any of you that would like to try this “experiment” are welcome to join! As we stood outside and talked, and took in the lovely smells coming from the garbage containers at watermark, we decided that we would just stay up at watermark and sleep there. We may end up fighting over the picnic tables!:) We also discussed if we would get permission for this… because if not, the security guards might not let us stay. Then we discussed that getting kicked out might just be part of the experiment, as homeless people have to move from place to place! I am not sure what we will do on that. thoughts friends?
The other “experiment” that Jennifer and I have been doing is no AC at home or in the car. Wow – what a great reminder that this has been for me. I am reminded of how comfortable my life is… and have been struck many times by what Jeff said last week about many in poverty not having options. With no AC, you want to leave the house. But where to do you go if you don’t have any money? what do you do with your time if you don’t have a job? I thought today… I will go to starbucks and read. Yes, I can because I have been blessed with an education, but how many of those in poverty, can’t read or read well enough to spend their time doing that, much less be able to by the coffee. I can see how this cycle just continues and its hard to get out of it. I am thankful that the Lord has been showing these things and making me more uncomfortable in my comfort. And in the midst of learning that, want to learn how to be thankful for ALL that He has blessed me with and how to use my wealth (I work in elementary school, and haven’t really thought of myself as RICH until recently!) to bless others.
The no AC use has had its funny moments as well… sometimes the heat just gets to you and you don’t think clearly. We got advice from Jennifer’s Grandma Vonnie about how to keep our house cool… all of our blinds and curtains are pulled to keep the light and heat out- it is dark in our house and! we have an attic fan/window routine…. open windows at dark and close when the sun comes up! And poor Willie, the dog, doesn’t understand what is going on. He is panting all the time! Today, I am taking him on a little outing to the pet store or to JoAnn’s fabric (bet you didn’t you know they let dogs in?!) to get him some air. And the process of showering (which in underdeveloped countries they don’t even have that luxury) just makes you more hot. Then dressing to get in a hot car… let’s just say, you may want to avoid our table on Thursday. That is if we make it that long!
we will see!
And last night as I was laying down to sleep, I heard a mosquito buzzing around me… then was reminded of the many that sleep with bugs and mosquitoes all the time. Again, the reminders have been so good for me. I pray this week, that these reminders will cause me to pray to the Lord for those in need and that doing these “experiments” will soften and break my heart for those in need.
See you after class on Thursday??
Another
Angie…I will be with you on Thursday night. Should be fun…hope many join us!
I attempted to take a ‘small challenge’ this week and drove from Dallas to Arkansas with no A/C in the car. It was great because I was driving by myself and had time to process all that we are learning in the Hope Lives class.
When I first began sweating, I thought of what it might be like to be on the streets of Dallas day in and day out sweating bullets. I thought to myself, well if I was homeless on the streets and needed some air conditioning maybe I would head into a McDonalds or the library downtown.
But then my thoughts turned to all the people who would stare at me when I walked in the door becasue of my smell or appearance. Then my thoughts turned to…I AM THAT PERSON. I see homeless individuals and will look at them, feel sad for them, but then try to avoid them, often more out of awkwardness than anything. I was convicted to say the least. These precious people are created in the image of God and yet I treat them with avoidance and quickly turn my eyes so that I do not have to face the reality of the poverty in which they live and I can go back to enjoying my comfort. If I say I want to live like Christ, this has to look differently in my life.
What I am thankful for was what happened the next day. I actually saw a homeless individual on a park bench on Saturday. My first immediate reaction was not to turn my eyes away quickly….but to engage with that person. I wanted to start a conversation with her….to talk, to hear how her day was going, and to somehow let her know that she matters. My immediate reaction was one of engagement and not avoidance and for that I am thankful!
She was sleeping so I didn’t end up waking her… realized that she may not appreciate that! But I did say a prayer for her…there was a Christan band playing in the background and I hope that some of the words reached her ears and found the way to her heart…to let her know that she matters to the One who created her, loved her, and died to save her.
And I was thankful to God that my heart has been stirred as a result of this class and His Word. May it continue to be so for all of us. Erica Penick
The following is a journal entry after accepting the challenge to go without the comforts of a bedroom for one evening.
Last night I lay down to sleep on the concrete floor of my balcony with only a rolled up blanket for a pillow. Even this arrangement was more luxurious than most people experience on an average night in our world. The temperature was warm, but that never really bothers me. The noise of the neighboring apartment a/c units was, however, bothersome. Silence only existed in small intervals and when the machines came on they roared with anger from overuse and lack of maintenance. The lights from the surrounding buildings glowed of an orange tint that also threatened to keep me awake. My body was tired and I shifted my position until the balcony railing blocked the direct glow of the light from my eyes. It was a long time before I was able to sleep and I feared the mosquitoes would make a feast of my exposed areas. Yet in those moments that I lay awake, I noticed a calmness in the sky that fell over me like a warm blanket. My thoughts were drawn to God and I was strangely comforted. This happens rarely when I sleep in a bedroom with a mattress, sheets, a pillow and climate control. It was as though the discomfort of my arrangement had pulled my heart closer to the God of all comfort and I was grateful.
Up at 4 Am! Unable to go back to sleep I settle in to read my Bible. I have more time to meditate and gather my thoughts than usual as I start my day. I am beginning to think that the comfortable world that I live in is mostly a distraction from the finer things in life . . . namely God and the awareness of His presence with me throughout every moment of my day. My self sufficiency makes me less needy and therefore relying on Him less and less.
As I was praying and journaling this morning I sensed I needed to experience what more than one billion people in this world experience and so I decided to not eat today until dinner. (I am completely aware that many people suffer hunger a lot longer than that)
I have definitely experienced a deepening of compassion as I suffer with those who are suffering. But around lunchtime as the hunger progressed my grumpiness did as well. I realized how much easier it is to be thankful when i have a full belly, AC and all I need….not to knock my thankfulness…I truly believe its a genuine thankfulness when I am thankful but man its really easy for me to let my circumstances/feelings override anything else. But i am pressing on. He encouraged me as I was reading through “A Chance to Die” and could relate to Amy Carmichael when she said she was “peacefully miserable”. I am hungry but am reminded of the peace He has given me in my heart and that has lifted my Spirits and is bringing back my joy….and prayed for my brothers and sisters in Christ in the world who are suffering; that the Lord would strengthen them through His peace and that those who don’t know Him would be drawn to want to know this peace….our Prince of peace.
I was one of 16 people to sleep outside last night (juju is the name that gives me street cred). After class, the group decided that if we were going to go eat dinner, we would walk to the restaurant. I had to go home and prepare for the night (read: brush my teeth one last time so my toothbrush and toothpaste wouldn’t count against my 5 items) as they left for the restaurant. I went home and relaxed a bit and heard from Gigi that they didn’t get to the Chili’s on Preston and 635 until 10:15! I drove up there and decided that if I didn’t walk there, I wasn’t going to use the a/c–mind you, it’s after 10 by now and I was still sweating on my drive there with the windows down.
As I was walking in, I saw a guy sitting outside the door–he asked me if I had any money to spare–in that moment I was thinking a couple of things:
1. is this a set-up by the group?
2. WHAT DO I DO? (part of me was scared, part of me was like “what can I do?” and another part of me thought “I’m a girl…I should be careful.”) I only had a dollar, so I handed it to him and went inside. Once I was seated, I began to regret not inviting him in to sit with us or telling the group about him or trying to converse with him (there was inner-turmoil going on in my head).
Luckily, Shayla walked in after me and we went outside to invite him in to join us–however, he said the manager wouldn’t let him in. So some of the guys went outside and talked to Nick and Shayla brought him some food.
After dinner, the group walked back to WM and I endured yet another car ride without the a/c–wondering how Gigi and LewLew handled it for a week. We set up camp for the night over by the picnic tables. The occassional whiff from the trash can wasn’t as overwhelming as I thought it would be and after sitting for awhile, it actually wasn’t too hot.
Our sleeping arrangments varied–we had one person set-up shop in a camping hammock, 4 people sleeping on the picnic tables, one guy on the CONCRETE and the rest of us were scattered about on the grass with sleeping bags, blankets, a yoga mat, etc.
It was interesting to see which 5 items we each decided to keep–playing cards, community water, flashlights, watches, bug spray and, of course, you can never forget the lip gloss! I think I was most convicted when I was deciding which 5 things I would bring, I was thinking primarily of what I would need/want instead of things we could all use. I think that when you are homeless, you are more open to sharing and living in community with the people you are around than when you are able to have your immediate needs covered and more. It’s funny to think how much time we put into deciding–I’m pretty sure most homeless people don’t get a choice of which 5 items they’ll keep with them.
The noise of 75 (especially the motorcycles) and the cicadas eventually lulled us to sleep (with hopes of not being woken up by the sprinklers)–until 3:40 am, when the sound of the trash being picked up woke most of us up. It actually got pretty cool during the night and most of us ended up under our covers. We all woke up by around 6 and discussed our night under the stars. I think most of us agreed that it wasn’t as difficult as we were expecting–but it definitely was not anything near the same comfort of sleeping in our own beds with a roof over our heads.
It wasn’t a raging slumber party with tasty delights, truth or dare, prank calls and fun, but more of a thought-provoking night that let us all step outside of our comfort zones and attempt to see (even if it was a small part) of life through the eyes of the less fortunate.
I would say the biggest thing I took away from this is that I have options. I can choose to go without a/c, water, food for whatever period of time I decide, but homeless people don’t have that luxury. I need to remember that God didn’t bless me with what I have so that I can keep it for myself and enjoy it–but to bless others the way I have been blessed. And it isn’t about changing the world, just my piece of the puzzle.
My street name given by LuLu was Mocha
Since there was a large group, we waited around the parking lot for at LEAST 30-40 min deciding where we were going to go? How far it would be and if we would actually walk or drive…….do homeless people get these many choices?!? as well as getting an opportunity to go for a bathroom break indoors before they head out for their day.
The walk to Chilis was at a slow pace and got the opportunity to talk to individuals that I had never had the chance to before; by the time we left Watermark, it was dark and at times, we were on the road, where cars that were passing by, never even veered to the other side to avoid hitting us! what must the homeless endure on a daily basis!!!
We made it to Chili’s and unlike homeless people, we were allowed inside and we were able to quench our thirst by getting tons of refills on water and getting a belly full of food so that we could continue our experiment?…after all, the experiment was sleeping outdoors……..
By the time we made it back to watermark and got my sleeping bag out, it was 11:30pm and I was beat! i was so incredibly tired, but could not fall asleep due to the lights, constant movement on 635 and a couple of mosquitos……I dosed off and on the whole night……I got up in the middle of the morning, having the luxury and safety that the bldg is well lit, that there were 15 other individuals there ,who I felt quite sure, would not take any of my stuff if I wandered off for a minute and proceeded to walk indoors to use the bathroom….the guard told me it was 4:30am ..JUST 4:30…uuuuuugh!
I sat in the well lit parking lot for a moment and thanked Him for all that He has blessed me with……..I used to pray that He keep me humble, but after this class, i pray that He make me humble!!! after all, i only slept outdoors one night, and I had not really gone without much!!!!!!!!!!!
Around 6ish when all of us were awake, we all discussed how some were able to sleep throughout the night, while others dosed here and there, but we all had the luxury of returning to our daily lives, hopefully forevery changed!
I, for one plan on having granola bars or anything else that I can give so that I can engage in conversation and show them the dignity that we all deserve. We are the feet on the street for the Lord!
I pray that this experience, class, readings stay with me, continue to be triggered, heart softened and called to action!
Tonight was the first time I have stopped and had a conversation with a homeless person. Usually if I stop and give money out of pity, guilt or a desire to give and I usual just smile and sometimes mumble under my breath, “God bless you.”
But tonight I had to run back up to church since my 16 month old left her bunney at church and I knew if I didn’t go back and get it that meant my husband and I would be up all night consoling her!
So on my way back I saw a scrawny man holding a little sign and I couldn’t make out anything except for the word ‘jesus’. i was 3 lanes over so i had to turn all the way around and get back on 635 to get in the lane next to him but when i got there he was gone. my heart sank. i started driving around and around trying to find him. wasn’t quite sure what i was going to do but was open to even bringing him home to get a shower and good night sleep believe it or not! I prayed that if it wasn’t safe for me to cross paths with him that I wouldn’t but that if it was safe that I would.
Lo and behold, I saw him walking through a parking lot so I drove in and waved him down. He seemed pretty leary but walked over and asked him if he needed something to eat. And he said no he had just gotten something and gotten something for his dog. I scrounged up what money I had and handed it to him and I saw the tears in his eyes and he said ‘thank you’. He said all he needs is prayer. I asked him where he lived and he said a camper off of jim miller. I asked him if he was working and he went on to tell me about his hard times and a broken relationship with a friend and his faithful dog. He mentioned he believes in Jesus and I handed him my WM news and he was excited to get that and asked where the church was. We talked a little bit more and, with tears in his eyes, he said I was the second person who had stopped today and talked to him. I told him Jesus loved him and with a big grin he smiled back at me and said, Jesus loves you too!”
Huh…so this is what it means to be the hands and feet of Christ. What a humbling experience.
Wow, Lisa. Tears in my eyes as I read your note. Loved your heart, willingness and PURSUIT of Him (great picture of Lord pursuing us)! Lord continues to do same in my heart and I’m SO THANKFUL! Yesterday, headed into Starbucks to read, I saw the same homeless man I had seen the previous week (and shared about in class – super sweaty one I was excited to talk to!) at a DIFFERENT Starbucks (yes, this is telling about my time there!). It was SO SWEET of the Lord to help me remember his name (Keith) so I could call him by name, reintroduce myself and offer a granola bar. He said he’d spent all night in parking lots and only found a nickel. PAINFUL. But, I told him I was sorry, asked if he was lonely (not sure where that ? came from … Lord?!) and that I’d pray for him and that God loved him. He seemed to appreciate it. I got to give another granola bar out that same morning to “Mr Wilson” a black man in a wheelchair that is always at this same Starbucks and SO jovial and fun to talk to. I gave him a choice of granola bars (strawberry was his pick!) and then the other one to Keith. I feel like the homeless people are coming out of the woodwork since we started our class – or is it just that my eyes are open to see?! I’m out of granola bars so need to restock. [Oh, and another 2 cents worth on the granola bar ministry ... I think it's fun to get a couple of different flavors and then ask them which one they'd like ... again, treating them more like I would a friend than a stranger ... though, truth is, I can't usually bear not to give them both so after they pick, they usually wind up with 2!]
But, with all that said, that’s not why I logged onto our fun little blog today …
After class 2 weeks ago, several of us stood around talking about the different challenges and what it would be like not to have running water … how we’d have to get jugs and carry them to the park to fill them up from the water fountain (which would take FOREVER!). I totally imagined Gigi and I with yellow jugs walking to Tietze Park on Skillman
Well, Jeff had sent this video but I hadn’t yet watched it … someone was reading our minds … and way ahead of us …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bUhtjOnp2G8&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Eone%2Eorg%2Fus%2Fwaterfortheworld%2F%2Fsigned%2Ehtml%3Fregistered%3D1%26petition%5Fid%3D149%26redirect%5Furl%3D%252Fus%252Fwaterfortheworld%252F%252Fsign&feature=player_embedded
Not sure if this link will work from here but, if not, you can cut/paste into your browser. It’s only 1 minute. Good stuff.
See y’all Thursday!
This class has been difficult for me as it’s been a reminder, a thorn every Thursday night, that the Lord has so much more for me(for all of us). I often struggle with focus, allowing things to distract me from God’s greater purpose. Sometimes(most times) it’s good things that distract me but this keeps me from what I sense I ought to be doing. Without going further into a long journal entry… the short of it is that I’m reminded every time I come to class that there is more that God wants from me. I fear that, and often hide from it. The fact is I’ve been uncomfortable for 4 weeks now. Encouraged by the truth in the Hope Lives book, discouraged (some) by my lack of trust and faithfulness to the Lord. This Thursday after class I both wanted to participate with those that slept outside (simulating homelessness) and I also thought “what’s the point” “Do they think this is really homelessness?” The next day I heard many stories that small step of faithfulness created. Some friends that participated had the opportunity to engage several homeless men and also a family of five. They were able to provide for some of their immediate needs and more importantly sharing with them about an eternal father. I’m sure there are even more stories, but those are the ones I heard. Point being, God used them, taught them and grew them in their faithfulness.
This weekend, I was working on my new website. The plan was to edit a journey to Cambodia I took two years ago. I knew it would be hard to relive the images because for the majority of time I photographed at the Phnom Phen city dump. This is where people live in squalor earning pennies a day to collect plastic for recycling. It was hard to photograph and even harder to edit. As I often do while working, I turned on some music to inspire me. Today it was Brooke Fraser and as soon as I started going thru the images I remembered how it smelled there, how my eyes burned from the smoke, how my body was covered with ash and soot…..I was only there for a short time and went to hotel every night but my friends lived there. They didn’t have the luxury of a cold shower or a warm bed.
I am deeply convicted, that I hadn’t tried to publish or show these images anywhere. Here God allowed me to witness His people living in deep poverty. He did and still has given me an opportunity to be witness, an advocate for those without a voice. And I had not done anything with them yet. It’s been 2 years since I was Phnom Phen. Today, I decided to take a small step to share what I witnessed with you. Thanks for encouraging/convicting me with your stories of fasting and faithfulness these last four weeks. May this encourage all of us as learn to do good, seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan and plead for the widow!
This short clip shows my friends from Cambodia, made in God’s image living their day to day lives in something altogether foreign to me. The song is by Brook Fraser. It’s called the C.S. Lewis song and the lyrics are below.
http://vimeo.com/5383657
C.S. LEWS SONG ~ ~ By Brooke Fraser
I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was not made for here If the flesh that i fight is at best only light and momentary, then of course I’ll feel nude when to where I’m destined I’m compared
[CHORUS]
Speak to me in the light of the dawn Mercy comes with the morning I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me
Am i lost or just found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive? Cus my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
And avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become
[BRIDGE]
For we, we are not long here Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me Hope,
He’s coming
http://vimeo.com/5383657
The following poem was written after considering how two very different lives can end up with the same conclusion. It moves from the material to the spiritual with the hope of demonstrating God’s response to mankind’s spiritual bankruptcy.
He leaves in a metal car
drives on a concrete path
only to park in a concrete garage
sets his foot in a marble lobby
and rides the metal hatch to the sky
where he sits by a glass window
looks out beyond and sighs
“there must be more
than what I’ve been living for”
She stands in a green field
orange sun rises in the east
walks along a gravel path
with a wicker basket on her head
takes a seat on a dirt floor
shells peas between worn fingernails
looks into the sky and sighs
“there must be more
than what I’ve been living for”
You spoke with a gentle voice
substance took form and life was born
water broke and flesh appeared
promised seed in word and deed
giver of life now in plain site
bread is body and blood is wine
“Feast with me like never before,
I am more
than what you’re living for”
I just wanted to leave a little note about Drawn from Water. After seeing the video “It began with Cane” in class one of the first weeks, I went home and looked up the orphanage online. I have been really moved and broken hearted for the children. I just wanted to encourage every one who may not have done more research into it to go online and look at the sight. They have a blog and a “cause” on Facebook, as well as a twitter account. They are in need of much support. There is a family (I couldn’t find their name to put here, sorry) that has packed up and moved to Ethiopia to serve these orphans. By packed up I mean, 3 children and all. If you subscribe to the newsletter, you get updates and prayer requests. The twitter gives you more instant needs. I think it would be amazing if everyone in the class would subscribe, commit to pray, give financial support (if you can), and commit to start spreading the word about the work. The more people made aware, the more support and prayers they will get. I have really been touched in my heart for these kids and their caretakers. I have been praying for more supporters and for God to expand the ministry so more could be served.
Thank you Dawn for the remider of Drawn From Water. Just passed out the clip to friends and posted it on FB.
mo, thanks for sharing that–as i sat at my desk watching the pictures go by and seeing the faces of these people that God loves, i just thought to myself about how often i discard possessions that i no longer want (because i want what is newer, bigger, and “better”) without a second thought and here these people are going through piles of what people have deemed trash, trying to find something, anything, for themselves.
one of the pictures that really touched me was the picture of the woman smiling–because i’m pretty sure i can honestly say that if i had to live that lifestyle, i don’t think i would be happy trying to live with somebody else’s discards as i try to see it as treasure.
A prayer for the end of our class:
Father, we cannot begin to fathom the sacrifice of your son who lived as a servant not seeking prestige or fame, but only your greater glory . . . who at the end of His life would say, “Father I have glorified your name by doing that which you have given me to do.” He did not seek to live a comfortable life. He did not try to minimize the pain that he would experience on the cross. His body was broken and His blood spilled out. Let us not minimize or overlook the painful experiences that you have for us in life. These experiences provide the opportunity of knowing you more fully, but we are often more concerned about being comfortable rather than doing your will.
It was not so that our lives would be comfortable that your son died, but so that you would be glorified on earth. And now we carry in our body the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in us. And His life was a life of servitude, His life was marked by self-denial, and every last drop of His life was lived with a resolute determination to glorify God completely. May this also be our determination today. Amen
This is great! It really shows me where to expand my blog. I think that sometime in the future I might try to write a book to go along with my blog, but we will see…Good post with useful tips and ideas