We were able to take in the new movie, “The Blind Side” this weekend. I highly recommend it. Not to spoil the movie for those of you who have not seen it, but it is based on the true story of Michael Oher, an homeless boy who became an All American football player and first round NFL draft pick with the help of several people including the decision of a caring well to do family in Memphis, the Touhy’s, who decided to take Michael in and make him part of their family.
First of all, you should know that movie downplays the role of the Touhy family’s faith in their decision, but regardless, there’s enough left in the film so you get the picture that this is a family that attempts to live out what they profess. In fact, in an interview with Sandra Bullock, she said that she had spent some time with the family and that it had renewed her faith in people of faith…a family actually living out their faith in real and tangible ways.
So, here’s a few personal thoughts that came to mind late in the night after I had some time to digest the movie… They are not in order of importance, but just in the order they came to me. I welcome your thoughts in response…
1. The poor are often the most generous – The “success” of Michael Oher does not begin with the Tougy’s. I have learned that folks in poverty are more generous than the wealthy. You might argue this, but it’s true and empirically supported. Interestingly, the first family that really saw Michael’s need and helped him was a blue collar family, who took him in, let him sleep on their sofa, and made him part of their family. This man is the one that approached the christian school about enrolling his own son, and also “Big Mike” as well. This family is not really spotlighted in the movie, but they probably made the greater sacrifice – economically, etc., as they fed him, gave him a spot on the living room couch, and attempted to get him into the school. It’s the folks that sometimes make sacrifices in “obscurity” that pave the way for even greater things to happen down the line.
I am reminded of the many families that we have met in Africa who live in one or two bedroom houses, but who take in multiple orphans to live with them – even as they barely are able to feed their own kids. It comes naturally. One of our friends even had 9 orphans and saw that there was additional room under the kitchen table for one more, and so added another. I asked myself “Do I have THAT mentality when it comes to meeting needs?”
2. The Tougys likely “practiced” servitude before. This family had a decision to make on that cold rainy night when they spotted this large black kid in shorts walking down the road…They could have easily thought “how tragic” and then simply let Michael walk on. After all, they didn’t know him. They were tired and returning home (had their own schedule to keep). But, they saw this as an “opportunity” to serve. And, they made the decision to get involved relationally…
Now I don’t know much about this family so this is an assumption – but this was likely not a decision they made in isolation. The husband said he had seen that look in his wife’s eyes many times before. My bet is that they had “practiced” a lifestyle of service prior to that time that culminated in their decision to really help when they were presented the opportunity. Just as I can’t “decide” I’m going to run the White Rock Marathon in a few weeks, show up, and expect to perform. We can’t simply “decide” that we’re going to make the correct decisions when the time is right. Rather, spiritual transformation is a process…a process involving the spiritual disciplines and making biblical decisions and course corrections over a period of time. I pray that when I’m presented with a “big” opportunity to serve God that I will have been faithful in the daily small opportunities so that I don’t blow it.
3. Be careful how we define “success” when we serve. I wondered as I watched this movie whether the only reason this movie was made was because Michael Oher went on to become a successful tackle for the Baltimore Ravens. Is he the exception rather than the rule? Would we have celebrated the service of the Touhy’s at all in any public way if Michael had not become a football star? I began to think of the countless folks that spend their lives in quiet obscure service directed at folks that struggle (and never overcome) their destructive lifestyle, addictions, economic conditions, etc. If we knew that the person we were considering helping was going to overcome all of the odds and become “successful” ultimately, it might make it easier to help. But God doesn’t give us the option of seeing their future. Rather, he simply commands us to love our neighbor and to share the “hope” of the gospel. The “results” of our obedience are left up to Him. So, the danger is that we look for the emerging athlete, scholar, pastor, teacher, lawyer, professional…someone with “potential”…a ”diamond in the rough”. But that is just our own pride working it’s way out in our “service.” We just need to serve people as Christ commanded…in obscurity…people who are empty handed. People who (from the outside) have nothing to offer. People who just need love. Funny…this sounds just like me as I stand before my creator. Nothing in my hands. Nothing to offer him, other than my acceptance of the work of His Son on my behalf.
4. There is great value in relational service. I saw in this story the value of developing relationships with those in need. You don’t have to move them into your house. But just develop an intentional relational commitment to someone – give them hope and a positive biblical role model. But, be open to where God leads! He takes ground bit by bit. In this case, it started out as one night, then God moved them to buy Michael some clothes. Then God stirred them to use their resources to hire a tutor so that Michael could excel academically. They did not “swoop” in, meet a need in a one off way, check the feel good box, and then swoop out.
5. Michael’s “success” was dependent on MANY folks. In this story, it took more than this single family moving outside of their comfort zone. Others - his teachers had to take the time to learn the best way to teach Michael (they found that he was more “verbal” and so played to his strengths), his coaches had to work with him to find the most effective way to play him (he was a “protector” and not an agressor in football), the other people in his life who had helped to extricate him from the deadly influences that were all around him, including those that separated him from his natural mother (as difficult as that was), etc. I was just reminded that MANY people could have been highlighted in this movie as being instrumental in Michael’s transformation. That is so true in life as well. The more we work together and in collaboration to serve those in need, the more effective we are. I read an African proverb the other day that summarizes this point well – “If you want to run fast, run alone. But, if you run together, you will go farther!” I love that.
Praying that we “run together” as we serve this city!
Hope Lives is back!