Chapter 14 and Epilogue
One quote from Chapter 14 really stuck with me:
Unless you are willing to experience the loss of options and the individual limitation that comes from being in committed relationships, you will remain out of touch with your own nature and the nature of things.
The reason this quote really struck me is because it sounds so strikingly un-American. We American’s love our choices because to us, choice = freedom. Any talk of limiting our choices or accepting fewer options and we American’s start to get a little uncomfortable. But to enter this “dance of God” as Keller calls it, one must limit their options, which on the surface, sounds very constraining. Choosing to love God and love others changes what it means to “look out for #1”.
Unfortunately, my own personal experience corroborates that what Keller is saying is true. As paradoxical as it sounds, the more I focus on me, the less satisfied I am with life. My selfishness might help me “gain the world”, but in the process I “lose myself” (see Luke 9:25). Selfishness never pays the dividends it promises.
What I also find interesting, is how similar Keller’s quote is to a quote from a book I recently read called The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Lessby Barry Schwartz, a professor at Swarthmore College. Here is one comment this social scientist made:
But if unrestricted freedom can impede the individual’s pursuit of what he or she values most, then it may be that some restrictions make everyone better off. And if “constraint” sometimes affords a kind of liberation while “freedom” affords a kind of enslavement, then people would be wise to seek out some measure of appropriate constraint.
The life we were created for is not found in doing whatever we want, whenever we want, with whoever we want. True freedom is not found in unrestrained options and never denying ourselves anything we desire. As people created by a triune God, the life we were created for is found by entering this “dance of God” and focusing on Him (which will always lead us to serving others). A real freedom will be experienced when we accept limitations, deny ourselves, and think about others. If we attempt to save our life (i.e. make it all about us), we lose it and if we lose our life (being God and others focused), we save it (see Luke 9:24).
I certainly hope you enjoyed this book as much as I did. Please check in soon for some information concerning what is next.