Being Known

Tough times have had a way of being helpful in my relationship with God. My first year of college at the Citadel was like that. Although the Citadel’s traditions and the Corps of Cadets were attractive to me, I wasn’t prepared for the challenges. During that first year, God put people in my path who taught me what a follower of Christ really was, and  I eventually decided to trust Christ. God ultimately turned a horrible season into a sweet time with  Christ. I grew a lot during my sophomore and junior years, and God eventually called me into full-time ministry.

After graduation, I got married, moved to Dallas and began going to seminary. I later got a job as a pastor at a large Methodist church. In many ways, those years were full of sunshine and roses. We had two children, Leah and Jacob, and I had a lot of plans for my life in ministry – some good and some unrealistic. But I didn’t know that those plans would be shattered, and I would face the most difficult season of my life.

After about five years in ministry, I took a job at another church. From the beginning, it wasn’t a good fit. Over time, I struggled with depression, started looking at pornography, and began an emotional relationship with a woman who was not my wife. A rift developed in my marriage, and it worsened over time. I was in deep water but didn’t want to talk about it.

Like many people in ministry, I didn’t view church as a safe place to talk about struggles. I’d seen people give honest confessions only to be rejected and talked about. Terrified of being known, I presented the person others wanted to see. But living that way took a toll, and I started looking for an escape. At first I tried to get deployed to Iraq with the Army Reserve. A war zone seemed better than the way I was living. But instead I intentionally made some harmful choices involving alcohol that spelled an end to my job in ministry. After I confessed to my family and the church leadership, I was asked to leave the church. Against the advice of some godly men, I also gave up my credentials as a minister.

This began a time in the wilderness and of being spiritually directionless. For the next several years, I was confident that there was no room for me in God’s game plan. I’d grudgingly ‘suit up’ and go to church, but I was sure God no longer had any use for me. My time of wandering ended when my wife told me we would be getting a divorce. I had finally hit the bottom. It was then a friend told me about Watermark — specifically the DivorceCare ministry. He told me that what I needed was community, and that I’d very likely be met with a whole lot of grace. Although I struggled with being labeled ‘divorced,’ I went anyway. My kids also joined me at DivorceCare for Kids, a ministry for children affected by divorce. I wanted them to participate because I knew the divorce impacted their lives, and I hope they understood that it was not their fault.

I couldn’t have anticipated how the Lord would use these ministries to make a life-changing, God-orienting impact on my life. God helped me build a stronger relationship with my kids. He also connected me with people who would get “in the mud” and redirect me when I thought of testing the waters of tempation again. God also helped me take an honest look at my poor choices as a dad and husband that had led me to this point.

I came to the conclusion that for most of my life I’d been looking for a path that wasn’t there. There are only two responses to the things God asks me to do: a faithful response and an unfaithful one. I’d spent a lot of time trying to find a third response – one where I relied mostly on Christ, but not fully. That’s not a real option, and when I realized that being 100% faithful was my only option, things changed.

Lighting the Fire

One of the ways I wanted to pursue faithfulness  was to serve. I wanted a quiet act of service —  something I could do with my kids. One day, I  thought about the fireplace at Watermark. I knew  someone had to haul the wood, clean out the ashes,  and light the fire, so I volunteered to be that  person. My son, Jacob, enjoys helping to build fires,  so it was a great opportunity to work together.

Early one Sunday morning before the services began, I was cleaning the fireplace. Todd Wagner  happened to notice and stopped to say thanks for what  I was doing. He later mentioned me and several  others, as an illustration on serving in his message  that day. At first, I took it all with a grain of salt.  But later I thought differently.

God used that conversation around the fireplace to  show me that at some point He’d helped me suit  up and get back in the game. At one point in my  life, I was certain I’d never be used again by the  Lord. But God never intended for me or anyone  else to stay on the bench. He used this whole  painful process to put me in a new place to serve  and glorify Him. This spring, I was asked to serve as a leader in DivorceCare. This gave me an opportunity to care for people who were in the same position I had been in not long ago. In light of what we celebrate at Easter and for all that Christ has done for me, how could I pass up the chance to serve others in this way?

In many ways I feel like I’m still “in training,” and God  has a lot of work to do in my life. But one year  ago, I had no hope. And today, I’m hopeful about  what God has in store.

by Scott Wizeman

I was born in Gatesville, TX, but my family moved around a lot when I was growing up. When I was 8 years old, my parents felt called to become full-time missionaries and we moved to France and later, West Africa to serve. When we returned to the U.S. and I graduated from high school and went to college in Arkansas and grad school in Louisiana. I moved to Dallas after that, went to work for a large public accounting firm, and got married.

Our marriage struggled for a while under the burdens many couples face: financial issues, communication problems, and unresolved conflict. We very rarely fought, which I later learned was bad because we never truly resolved things. In spite of the struggles, I never really wanted to divorce. So when my marriage ended a few months after my 10-year anniversary, it was a heart-breaking place to be.

At the time, it was very difficult to be around people, although I knew I needed the Lord and the comfort of being in church with other believers. God definitely spoke to me through His Word during those painful months, and eventually drew me to Watermark and the DivorceCare ministry. I committed to going through DivorceCare in the spring of ’09. By then, the divorce was final, and I actually thought I was doing pretty well. But when I sat down in that first meeting and it was my turn to speak, I started crying. I’d stuffed a lot of feeling and anger deep inside, and DivorceCare helped me process those emotions in a loving and safe environment where people really understood. That opened up the door for God’s healing.

Around that time, I also committed to read the Bible through over the course of a year. I’d never done that before. As I read, I saw how God used so many different imperfect people. Many had done things that were not consistent with what He wanted, but He continued to pursue, redeem and express His love for them. God’s Word helped me see that, in spite of the divorce, God still accepted and loved me as His child and could use my story to His glory. Through this process I also learned that community had been missing in my life for a long time. When I was married, we were involved in another church and I served on our praise team and in women’s ministry. I had friends, but nobody held me accountable or prayed with me. Very few people knew what was going on in the marriage, and when people heard we were separated and later divorced, nobody from church really reached out. It was a lonely place to be.

I’ve been a follower of Christ since I was a child, but I’d never been part of a church that stressed community like Watermark. When I first experienced what real community was like, it was actually kind of terrifying. It was challenging to sit in a group of girls, share my heart and be vulnerable. I’ve just never been good at that. But it’s what we’re called to do as believers, so I did. Today, I’m in a community group of women that continues to be a blessing and encouragement in my life.

When I’m struggling with something – big or small – it’s easy for the Enemy to get in there and really wreak havoc. If I’m isolated, I have no perspective about the struggle I’m dealing with. But when I talk about it in community, I’m surrounded by support and people who can remind me of the truth. I’m also able to encourage others and to see His goodness at work in people I care about. That really helps me stay focused and grounded in my faith.

Today, I’m also a leader in Divorce Care, and it has blessed me in so many ways. During the divorce I sometimes thought, “I’ve failed miserably. How will I ever be able to serve God again?” I see now that God has given me a special ministry tool: “to comfort others with the comfort that He has given me” (II Corinthians 1:3-4). What an incredible ministry opportunity!

I have seen the grace He has extended to me and have taken great comfort in the truth that absolutely nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39)…not even a divorce. God has given me an opportunity to minister to others during this painful process, and that is evidence of His grace and kindness. In turn, He’s also given me more grace to extend to others.  Today, my relationship with God has never been stronger. I am experiencing more joy than I ever thought possible a year ago. God does heal and restore!

I grew up in Southern California. When I was a kid, some Mormon missionaries came to the door of our house, and my mom spoke with them briefly. I was fascinated by them and after they left, I asked my mom about the difference between our beliefs as Christians and the Mormons. She explained that Mormons believed you could get into heaven through your own good work. After hearing this, I raced out the door. I wanted to tell those guys that it wasn’t true—that it was our faith in Christ alone that saves us.

At 15 years old, I had the opportunity to do summer ministry in Utah. I studied more about the differences between Mormonism and Christianity and began going door to door to share Christ with Mormon people. I became fascinated with the Mormon faith, and fell in love with the people. I also loved the natural beauty in Utah, and eventually moved there in 1996, where I continued reaching out to Mormons with the truth about Christ.

HOW DID YOU COME TO WATERMARK?

I moved to Dallas after meeting Tara Nelsen, the woman who’d eventually become my wife. Tara grew up in the Mormon faith and came to Christ when she was a single mom living in Dallas. She became involved in several ministries at Watermark, and we shared the same desire to reach out to Mormons and boldly defend biblical Christianity.

I’d been married before and Tara had as well. Therefore, in addition to a pre-marital class, we also wanted to participate in Watermark’s DivorceCare ministry. We wanted to completely process the past pain we had both experienced from divorce. I went through in ’06 and eventually became a DivorceCare leader. As I went through the class I noticed that I was becoming more patient toward Tara and others when conflicts arose. I began to develop more grace toward others as I realized that often there are no quick fixes to many of life’s problems.

I could also see how a ministry like DivorceCare would be relevant to our outreach to Mormons. Although Mormons are often recognized for their strong families, the truth is that divorce in Utah, a predominately Mormon state, is at or above the national average. If a spouse isn’t living up to the standards set by the Mormon church or decides that they want to resign from the faith, the other spouse often files for divorce since one’s exaltation in the faith is tied to being married to a faithful Mormon member. For that same reason, Mormons also tend to remarry very quickly — often a recipe for disaster. The biblical principles of reconciliation that are talked about in DivorceCare, and the authenticity that is part of our culture at Watermark are the polar opposite of the Mormon culture. Mormonism is a place to put on a good front and show your good works so that everyone will think you are worthy before God. To most ex-Mormons I’ve talked to, the Mormon Church is the last place you’d go to talk about struggles.

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BIGGEST MISCONCEPTION ABOUT THE MORMON CHURCH?

Many Christians think wrongly that Mormons are just a different Christian denomination. But the differences are like night and day. They have different scripture and a very different view of Christ’s atonement for our sins. People see that Mormon families are often good neighbors and very patriotic, and they think, “What’s wrong with that?” But many Christians don’t understand that Mormons are embracing false doctrine and a radically different view of who Christ is.

Our ministry began a website called mormoninfo.org that educates people about the differences between Mormonism and Christianity. We also started a recovery ministry for ex-Mormons and those interested in ministering to Mormons. When people who grew up in the Mormon faith move out of it and into a relationship with Christ, they often lose their family and friends and become ostracized. We meet with former Mormons and help them with their questions and challenges. We often meet with couples where one is a Mormon and the other is not and discuss theological differences, which helps them to see the Truth.

WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO MOVE BACK TO UTAH?

Utah is a mission field that’s been largely neglected by Evangelical Christians, who make up just 2% of the population. There are entire counties where there’s not a single
Christian church. God prepared us as a family to be on mission in Utah by giving us both a season of great community and growth at Watermark and a real passion to minister to Mormon people full-time.

I don’t mind being the odd man out in Utah, because seeing people who’ve grown up under the bondage of Mormonism, where there’s generally no tolerance for disagreement and questions, breaks my heart. Biblical Christianity allows us to question and explore God’s Word to discover what it has to say. What a privilege it is to tell people that they no longer need to perform to earn God’s love. We are already accepted in Christ, and our new desires motivate us to be more like our Savior and reflect Him to a death-filled world. Seeing people embrace that Truth is watching someone be set free in Christ

For more information on the differences between Christianity and Mormonism, see watermarkradio.com (keword search: Mormon) for a series of Training Day classes on the subject.