Jimi learned to fend for himself at an early age. His parents divorced when Jimi was very young, and his father, an alcoholic, wasn’t around much. Jimi’s mom worked full-time to support the family, leaving her son alone much of the time. In high school, drugs became a regular part of Jimi’s life, and by 21, Jimi was using heroin – stealing money from his family and selling drugs to support his habit. After living this way throughout his young adult life, Jimi was convinced his future came down to these choices: die, go to jail, become homeless, or go to rehab.

“I didn’t want to be around a bunch of recovering addicts and ‘Jesus freaks’, but I was facing two choices: spending two years in prison, or going to rehab. God used rehab to get my attention, and on September 21, 1997, I trusted Christ. I began reading the New Testament from beginning to end, and the words of Mark 10:29-30 really spoke to me. By the time I got to I Corinthians, I realized the Bible had the answers to stop the pain. I wish I could say that is end of my struggle. It wasn’t. But God was at work.”

After rehab, Jimi got a job tending bar at a local restaurant, where he met Barb. After a whirlwind romance, the two married within the year, and decided to spend their first year of marriage working together in a touring theater company. On the road with a small group of actors eight months out of the year, Jimi and Barb felt like they spent their first year of marriage living in a fish bowl. Daily, they were in close proximity to other Christians, yet far from authentic community with believers to advise them on the struggles in their marriage.

“It was a terrible environment for starting a marriage, and things did not go well,” said Barb. “Although I’d been a believer for a long time, I’d spent most of my life doing things for God, rather than developing a relationship with the Lord. So the challenges during that first year really brought out my insecurities and struggles with performance and fear of failure. Jimi was falling into depression and fits of rage, and it felt like I could do nothing right. I should have turned to the Lord for help. But instead I turned to the tangible; someone who was appreciative and concerned about me. I had an affair.”

The burden of sin and deception felt so overwhelming that Barb could hardly face herself in the mirror. Jimi’s downward spiral continued, as he began looking at pornography, drinking heavily and having extramarital relationships as well. It took the birth of their children, the loss of Jimi’s job due to alcohol abuse, and an intervention by their family and friends to stop the destruction. “When I got fired for drinking, I finally realized that I had an addictive nature, and I needed to change the way I was living. Someone told me to check out Celebrate Recovery (CR), a biblical recovery ministry at Watermark. When I went, I could see that God had me there for a reason. I began to the read the Bible on a regular basis and apply it to my life, and the Lord showed me grace and forgiveness – humbling because I knew what a wretched man I really was.”

Barb also became part of CR, and both of them became very honest about their individual struggles, unfaithfulness and sin. “It was only through the power of prayer that God helped us begin making amends with each other,” said Jimi. “After all the stuff we put each other through, we should have been divorced. But by pursuing Christ and recovery together, God healed our marriage, and forgiveness was possible.”

Barb says that reconciliation was a slow process. But as she embraced forgiveness through Christ, she saw God powerfully at work. “Philippians 1:6 tells us that that God, who began a good work in you will be faithful carry it to completion. I’ve seen that play out in our marriage and my own life. God was at work in my life, even when I strayed. To find healing and freedom, I didn’t have to know all the details of God’s plan. I just had to trust Him and obey.”

Today, Barb and Jimi have three beautiful children, Austin (6) and Elise (4), as well as Peyton, (15), Jimi’s daughter from a previous relationship. It’s Peyton’s presence that serves as a daily reminder of God’s power and love. For years, the burdens of substance abuse and broken relationships hindered Jimi’s involvement in Peyton’s life. But in November of ’06, Jimi and Barb connected with Peyton and a relationship that once seemed impossible has now blossomed.

“Again, God restored a portion of my life that I never thought was possible,” said Jimi. “When I was struggling with addiction and close to homeless, God pulled me out of the pit. When our marriage was at the point where most couples file for divorce, God showed us His grace, and we found redemption in Christ. And when I thought it was too late to get to know my daughter, I discovered that as long we are alive, it is never too late with God.”

“Yes,” Jesus replied, “and I assure you that everyone who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or property, for my sake and for the Good News, will receive now in return a hundred times as many houses, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and property— along with persecution. And in the world to come that person will have eternal life.” (Mark 10:29-30 NLT)

“Growing up, I went to church on Christmas and Easter. I didn’t have a model for following Christ. I sought acceptance and significance in my performance in academics and sports. Those aren’t necessarily bad things. But it’s not Christ.

“I later went to University of Nebraska on a wrestling scholarship. The guys I hung out with in college were far from God. At first, I felt uncomfortable with the drinking and how women were viewed as objects. But I became numb to it, and soon, drinking and inappropriate relationships with women were a regular part of my life.

“After graduation, I tried to fill the gap that sports left in my life with drugs. I also thought I was on the path toward marriage, because I’d been living with my girlfriend for about two years. That changed when I was offered a job in Cincinnati, and she (at about the same time) made a decision to trust Christ. She set new boundaries in our relationship and took a stand for what she believed. Honestly, I didn’t get it. I accepted the job in Cincinnati, and we broke up.

“Moving to a new city meant I no longer had a network of friends encouraging me to do the wrong thing. I chose those things on my own. But I did notice the changes happening in my former girlfriend’s life, and that prompted me to check out a local church. There, I was confronted with this truth: I either had to stand for Christ or stay seated with the Enemy. That moved me, and I decided to trust Christ. I still hadn’t taken care of the 800 lb. gorilla of alcohol and drugs on my back. But I found a freedom and peace that I’d never felt before.

“I started reading my Bible and praying regularly. But I didn’t have Christian friends around me. That made it easy for me to spend two or three nights a week at bars, and another couple of nights at home studying my Bible. Trying to live in both of those worlds was lonely and exhausting, and nobody was there to tell me how crazy that really was.

“I lived like that for about 4 years. Work was going well, and I was promoted a couple of times, so I bought a home far away from my church. Isolation made it easy for the gods of money, alcohol and relationships to take over. There was a lot of internal struggle, and I convinced myself that freedom from alcohol and other struggles would have to wait until heaven. Until then, I’d try to be a ‘good person’ and hopefully, God could see past my sin.

“That faulty thinking led up to my darkest point in life: July 7, 2007. I’d gone out that night, drank too much and decided to try to climb a television tower. It seemed like a harmless prank, but it got a little more serious with the police and television news crews showed up, and I was on the front page of the newspaper the next day.

“In just 48 hours after that incident, everything changed. I was in jail, charged with criminal trespassing and public intoxication, and I lost my job. All the things that I had placed my trust and faith in came tumbling down. It was devastating.

“I see now that God loved me enough to discipline and expose me and this was the beginning of my journey with Christ. I’d recently moved to Dallas, and God connected me to friends who invited me to Watermark. I felt a lot of shame, and authenticity was hard. But when I read stories in Watermark News of broken people now changed by Christ, I discovered what I’d been missing all along.

“The rest was a process. I had a real problem with alcohol, and it took a while to give it up. But over time, I found recovery in Christ and a small group of men who walked with me. I came to understand that ‘nothing good lives in me’ (Romans 7:18), so there’s no point to keeping areas of my life isolated from God. I made hard decisions about relationships and alcohol – sometimes fighting tooth and nail with my community about it. But in the end, I needed to give up my desires so that I could pursue Christ alone. I admitted that I feared not be able to handle the loneliness and emptiness. But through consistent time in Scripture, God helped me trust Him to be what I needed. With the help of community and Celebrate Recovery at Watermark, Icelebrated over one year of sobriety in November, and I am living the life I only thought possible the other side of heaven.

“For a long time, I was afraid of giving God all of my life, because I thought I’d get shortchanged. But God is so much bigger and better than I ever imagined. I have friends who encourage and tell me the truth even if it hurts. I have the chance to serve God by serving others. When I gave up my own selfish desires, God did not short-change me. My life became fuller. And I’ve discovered that the only way to truly live is to live for Christ.”

Life had been very unkind to Denise. Shuffled off to live with relatives after her heroin-addicted father beat her mom until she was confined to a wheelchair, Denise’s childhood was a blur of abuse and instability. One of her few happy childhood memories was living with her grandparents. Their home
was modest but peaceful – just a short walk from a small church. What Denise learned there would change her life.

“I learned that God cared for me enough to put His Son on the cross so I could have a relationship with Him,” said Denise. “Although I was young, I clung to the Lord, and He carried me through.” Denise spent her young adult years working in Dallas, where, in 1978, she met David Renken. He was smitten and pursued her until she fi nally agreed to a date. His recent divorce didn’t deter David from a whirlwind courtship, and the two married ten weeks after their first date.

“We were young and had no example of a godly marriage to follow,” said David. “My father was a weekend drunk and mom was cold and distant, so I though a lot about what I didn’t want for our marriage. But I never asked what God wanted.”

From the beginning, David and Denise both worked full-time and went to night school. Three years later, the pressures of work, school, finances and parenting began to take a toll. “My responsibilities felt like an anchor around my neck. I had no one to tell me how selfi sh I was, or that the extramarital
relationships I was engaged in would cost me everything.”

Denise was blind to what was happening. “I thought if I looked good, my house was clean and dinner was on time, I was a good wife. But I didn’t treat David with respect, and when the kids came along, I put them above everything. I assumed he was as committed as I was, but when I discovered the affairs, my heart was broken and soon the marriage was over.”

The two divorced in ’82, but remained connected. David continued to help with the kids and house – motivated by a desire for reconciliation. When he began talking about giving marriage a second chance, Denise agreed.

“Unfortunately, we didn’t receive sound, biblical counsel on how to restore the relationship,” said David. “I just thought that if we worked a little harder, that we wouldn’t fail again. But what I couldn’t see is that there was a sleeping giant in the room – my selfi sh heart which led to more unfaithfulness.”

Although they tried, nothing really changed. Through the years, Denise asked God to show her what she should do to help David. It took years to see that what Denise should do is focus on her relationship with Christ while praying fervently for David. Sadly, David’s self-destructive cycle continued until one evening there was a knock at the door. There stood one of David’s girlfriends, who’d come over to return things he’d left at her place. After years of unresolved conflict and mistrust, the betrayal was devastating, and the couple soon divorced.

“This was the first time I was confronted with the cause and effect of my unfaithfulness, and the hurt I’d caused,” said David. “I could no longer delude myself into thinking our problems were her fault.”

Later, alone in his apartment, David pleaded with God to take control of his life. That very night, David purged his home and computer of emails and phone numbers from women he’d had relationships with. Soon, David started spending time in God’s Word and taking part in a men’s Bible Study. He also joined a recovery program.

“Although I’d gone through the motions at church for years, I’d never really had a personal relationship with Christ. I became honest with God and the Christian men in my life – telling them exactly how I’d lost the respect of my wife and children. They helped me see the consistent problem in my marriages: me.”

As Denise moved forward with the divorce, she couldn’t help noticing the changes in David. “He stopped coming up with all the answers and started talking about God’s Word. That moved me because, although I didn’t trust David, I knew I could trust the Lord.”

The couple remarried again in May, 2001. Although their relationship is on solid ground today, it was definitely an uphill climb. David still deals with the pain his actions caused their children and relies often on Romans 8:1. Denise is learning to rein in her desire for control and give David the respect he needs to lead.

The Renkens also got involved in ReEngage, a Watermark ministry for couples desiring to reinvest in their marriage. “What took us 25 years of stumbling to discover, you can learn at ReEngage,” said Denise. “It’s all about having the full, enriched marriage that God intends. We’ve learned more about nurturing and enjoying each other. I wish this was around a long time ago!”

David describes the difference Christ has made in their marriage this way: “Years ago, home was the last place I wanted to be. I look forward to coming home today, because it’s where my best friend lives. God helped me focus on becoming a better child of His – becoming a better spouse came along as a result. I couldn’t be more grateful.”
ReEngage meets every Wednesday at 6:30 pm at Watermark Community Church. See our website for details.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wished for a father. A dad who would be there to care for me, hang out and show me what being a real man was all about.

I was raised in a single parent home in Las Vegas. My mom was a Black Jack dealer for 24 years, which meant my sister and I were home alone most evenings. My dad wasn’t in the picture, and at an early age I was told he died in a car crash – a story I began to question as a teenager. Men came in and out of my mom’s life, and five different boyfriends lived with our family when I was a kid. A couple of them tried to be father figures to me, but didn’t stick around. Another beat my mom so badly she was hospitalized. All of this left me feeling hurt, confused and alone. When my mom’s last marriage failed and I saw another “dad” walk away, the pain was so intense that I didn’t want to live any more. Those feelings were eating me alive, so I turned to women, drugs, drinking, stealing and anything else to numb my pain.

BROKEN IN WEST TEXAS

Before high school graduation, I was looking for an escape from Vegas, so I quit drugs and started getting in shape to join the Air Force. I thought the military would help me with the pain and insecurity in my life, because that’s what ‘real men’ do, right? Wrong! I was the same lonely, depressed person, just stationed in a new place: Reese Air Force Base in Lubbock, Texas. I’d never seen a cotton field or a Texas Tumbleweed before, had no friends and I hated being there. One of the sergeants in my squadron despised me and spent nine months verbally assaulting me. The stage was set for me to be broken.
There was a bright spot – a friend named Rob Palos, the only Christian in my squadron. He was a “man’s man” who liked to fix cars and play sports and also a family guy who loved his wife and kids. The way he lived drew me in, and we started hanging out together. Later, Rob began to talk to me about his faith, and about a Father who would never abandon me. It sounded too good to be true, but he kept talking to me, eventually inviting me to church. Before, Jesus Christ was just a curse word to me, but Rob helped me see that Jesus was the Son of God. And because of the investment he and another friend made in me, I placed my trust in Jesus in July 1993.

BROKE IN VEGAS

The desire for a father in my life followed me through my teenage and adult years. At 16, I confronted my mother about changes in her story about my father, and she told the truth: my biological father was alive and lived just 20 minutes away. When we met face-to-face, I was shocked by the resemblance, but that was where the similarities ended. My dad was everything that I was not. He hunted, fished and could fix just about anything. Although he was grateful to meet me, he didn’t really like who I was, and I felt deeply wounded.

After getting out of the military, I tried to strike up a relationship with him again, and moved in with him in Las Vegas. But it was a total disaster. I felt like a misfit, rejected by him and everyone else, it seemed. I didn’t know any Christians in Las Vegas, so I returned to my old patterns of alcohol, drugs and women, and racked up $22,000 in debt from drugs and gambling as a result. Finally, the Lord grabbed my heart, and I turned back to following Christ. But I had a lot of work to do to dig out of the hole I was in.

FINDING THE FATHER

When I returned to the Lord, He extended kindness to me through His Word and prayer. I felt convicted by Psalm 37:21 “The wicked borrow and do not repay, but the righteous give generously.” I spent four years waiting tables in Vegas to pay my debt. God used that time to give me a desire for full-time ministry. I made my last debt payment in May 2001 and was soon on my way to go to Dallas Theological Seminary. I didn’t know how God was going to get me through Seminary debt free, but He did. An anonymous donor paid my first semester’s tuition, and I worked part time to pay my way through, graduating with my Masters in Theology in May 2005.

During Seminary, I got involved with the Apartment Life ministry, where I and other teams lived in an apartment community, put on social events for the residents and developed intentional relationships with neighbors. Through Apartment Life, I befriended folks a lot like me – people searching for life in lifeless places. I was able to share what God had done in my life, and just how far He’d brought me. It was sweet to know that I was once the guy other folks were reaching out to, and now I was able to be part of Christ changing the lives of others.

I can’t tell you the ways that God has used Apartment Life to change my heart. After years of struggling with fear and insecurity, I’ve found purpose and joy in encouraging other Christians to be externally focused and engaging with people who need Christ. I also worked with a great team of friends who are passionate about sharing Christ as well. I enjoyed this ministry so much, that four years ago, I joined the Watermark staff so I could lead their Apartment Outreach Ministry.

That’s not to say that my struggles from the past are over. I still rely on Christ to keep me from unhealthy patterns of insecurity and fear of abandonment. But the difference is that I know the Lord values me more than any earthly father ever could. He is a heavenly Dad who loves me and will never leave or forsake me. Accepting His grace and love has given me a real desire to be more useful to His Kingdom. There are a lot of “Troys” out there, pursing their drug of choice – possessions, women, prestige, alcohol, materialism or other things. And I’m grateful that God has given me the opportunity to tell them about God’s amazing grace, love and kindness.