What a turnout for this past Friday’s event on discipline!
A record setting harvest!
School is in session and perhaps now is the season when we ripened crops are gathered. Oh how I pray we are ripening!
If you’ve gotten a little stale over the summer, fear not, we are back and hope to help. We have a great fall line-up and some yummy bits both for those that gathered with us and those that could not.
For one, after each event, we will post a tasty morsel on the topic along with a related verse memory challenge. Let’s get some of that living water pouring into our over-sunned selves, eh?
Friday’s tasty morsel?
Having a plan.
Ok, I know it sounds obvious, but stick with me here.
For us married folks, yes, we need to be on the same page with our spouse on spanking, timeouts, and consequences for what and when.
But, this plan isn’t just a one time discussion on what ‘method’ is right for your family.
I know! It sure would be easier if that was it.
But rather, it is a bit more painful. Hmmm, a lot more painful.
“No discipline seems pleasant, but painful.
Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11
I know this is an oldie, but it IS a goodie. None better on the subject if you ask me, because of the truth oozing from it.
This verse isn’t talking about what method to use. But, that is what we tend to spend lots of our time and energy talking about.
It also isn’t, I believe, just talking about the pain caused the one receiving the discipline.
Oh no. I’d like to argue it is far more work, toil, and effort for the one doing the disciplining.
But, there is hope, an expectant hope, that is well worth all of our effort. It’s not just a little bite of something good. No.
It is a harvest of righteousness.
We are not just after behavior on the outside, but the heart behind it on the inside. That is what God is after too. He talks over and over about going through the motions. Those might impress some, but they are far, far from the real goal. That heart. A heart to love, to obey, to respect, to serve, to follow Him. Because He IS the Righteous One.
Quick to the how…
Setting expectations. That is key.
Yes, setting expectations is really making a plan. This plan isn’t always a big giant spreadsheet of scenarios and consequences.
It is a daily, often moment by moment plan. That’s more my style. ; )
It is taking a few extra minutes to discuss your expectations before doing something.
Like, before you head into the grocery store, “We are headed into the grocery store. I expect you to sit on your bottom in the seat the entire time. Do you want to bring that toy with you to play with?”
Think ahead what you will do if they don’t obey…Will you take them to the restroom for a consequence, or wait until you get home? Take a toy away? Get the critical things you need first and then have the option to leave the rest if needed?
Be prepared. A plan brings peace. And, expectations make it easier for us to follow through. When we follow through, we communicate that we are moms and dads of our word. Oh how I want to be a mommy of my word.
Impulsive is what the panel on Friday advised us to guard against.
Calm is critical, and calm has a much better chance with a plan. Impulsiveness often robs from consistency, and it turns calm into anxiety and frustration. And if our hearts aren’t right, how effective will we be in training theirs?
Better to delay coming up with a consequence than make up one on the fly when I’m anxious and irritated. It’s often more exaggerated or something harder to follow through. Oh how I need more of a plan.
There is a huge benefit of having a plan in every day life things, like getting dressed, eating meals, changing diapers, getting in the car, running errands, painting, cleaning up, readying for bed.
The more you set expectations and consequences for these, the more they become routine. They become built in!
Unfortunately, the behavior and heart to obey aren’t as automatic. Stink.
So when the need for the consequence comes (and it will over and over and over!), recite the promises of Hebrews 12:11.
Write it on your wooden spoon or ‘rod’, put it on/near your naughty spot or timeout space. You can even put it where ‘opportunities’ occur more often, like the changing table for us (ick!).
So, that’s your verse challenge this week. Even if you know it already, a great time to practice is right in the moment.
This recovering Debbie Downer might focus too much on the ‘painful’ part of this verse, but don’t do it! It’s just a reminder than it won’t be all fun and games and I’d dare to say it is setting our expectations!
Most of all, it is an encouragement not to give up, and a great reminder of Who is calling us to this job, Who is ultimately in charge, and the wonderful result that comes with steadfastness…a harvest.
A harvest of righteousness. – by Sundee McDonald