Are your kids in the dark?
As I was reading “Revolutionary Parenting” (Recommended reading) last week I was convicted and moved to have a written set of standards for the Kaigler household. It seems a little late, as my kids are 13 and 11, but we are going for it anyway! (Better late than never). We certainly have boundaries for our kids and enforce them as consistently as we can. However, they are not in writing and they are not often communicated unless something goes haywire or a pending situation has disaster written all over it.
I have borrowed extensively from Barna’s book in formulating these and thought they might be helpful as a starting point as you seek to guide your kids toward full devotion to Christ, so here it goes:
1) Always tell the truth
Regardless of the circumstances or consequences; strive to be known as honest, reliable, and trustworthy.
2) Never cheat or steal
This brings dishonor on you and disrespects the victim. This includes the sometimes gray areas around testing, and the little “they won’t even miss it” items.
3) Always show respect to other people
No matter how you feel about them your attitude and language reflect the love God has for others. The hardest place to practice this is in the home so parents and kids should consistently show respect to one another.
4) Help Others
We are followers of the greatest servant who ever lived, Jesus Christ , and should model His example.
5) Control your tongue
Death and life are in the power of the tongue. (Prov. 18:21) See also James 3
6) See Conflict as an Opportunity for Growth
Handle it quickly, examine your own heart, and do not judge the motives of others. Only judge their behavior in so much as it affects you personally, your family, and/or the body of Christ.
7) Take good care of your body
Your body is God’s temple so eating healthy, exercise, and maintaining good hygiene is important.
8) Pursue Intimacy with Jesus and Impact for His Kingdom.
Jesus is in charge of it all and has the final word on everything. The Bible is God’s love letter/instruction manual for life.
9) Work hard in school and pursue excellence as much as it is possible.
10) Pull your weight as part of the family
Carry out your household chores with a good attitude and occasionally do more than is asked of you.
11) Make sure at least one parent knows your whereabouts at all times.
Even when plans change make sure you get parent approval and they know your whereabouts.
12) Accept the penalties of inappropriate behavior
Discipline is not and/or should not be a sign of anger or dislike by those in authority over you but a sign of care and love designed to facilitate growth.
-Kyle
Tags: Initiating
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:37 am
My wife and I have really enjoyed reading this book. Many of statics really create a desire in us to raise children that are putting their faith at the forefront of their mind. Thanks for the recommendation and sharing your thoughts on the book.
June 9th, 2009 at 12:54 pm
There is a wonderful resource we have used in our family which defines these types of “rules” in our household. It is called “Our 24 Family Ways” by Clay Clarkson. It divides the 24 easy to memorize statements into six categories: authorities, relationships, possessions, work, attitudes and choices. A couple of examples: “We love our Lord Jesus Christ with wholehearted devotion.” “We exercise self-control at all times and in every situation.” They are good reminders for parents as well as for kids.
The book comes with devotion ideas attached to each of the 24 ways. We used it extensively when our kids were smaller as a way to instill and reinforce expected behavior and heart attitudes in our home.
This resource can be found at http://www.wholeheart.org.