Helping Our Kids Discover Greater Do’s than Don’ts
Do you know what scares the Krispy Kremes right out of me? It’s thinking about raising boys in today’s culture. The fear- I mean the real fear- first gripped me when I was pregnant with our first son. I drove weekly by a billboard for a boot warehouse that enraged me. Boots, you ask? Yes. Clearly, what more logical way to sell work boots than by putting them on a scantily dressed woman who wouldn’t be caught dead wearing them in real life… unless nearly naked and having her picture taken- then, by all means. Then there were the hamburger joint commercials with spokesperson Hugh Heffner, declaring his love of the menu diversity- “because nobody wants the same thing every night.” Then there are the magazines my kids pass in the check out line at the grocery store. In any other context the picture would be porn, but somehow the exercise-related title of the magazine is supposed to make me say, “Oh, I thought it was porn, but it turns out to just be about my health and well-being.” I wouldn’t ordinarily be comfortable looking at the person standing behind me in line if she were only wearing her undergarments. And there’s a fair chance she would perhaps be arrested under such circumstances. But thankfully, instead of actual near-nudity, we have only a photograph of it, which is TOTALLY different, and by “TOTALLY different” I mean “virtually the same.”
So there’s my fear. Probably on some level you can relate. Counter-cultural purity is a challenge for every parent, and if we’re honest, one that God’s people as a whole have not been experiencing overwhelming victory in. I remind myself sometimes, when I drive by the sign for the restaurant we will never visit for family dinner, “The power of Jesus is greater than the power of that billboard!” So why then are so many of us and our children falling under the power of the billboard (what it represents) and unable to stand firm in the power of Jesus to “live a life worthy of the calling we have received”?
Pretty big question for such a little newsletter. But here are my ponderings before the Lord on this. We hear so loudly the Christian call to our kids to stay away from sexual immorality. Biblical command. Necessary exhortation. But I think back to my coming of age years… many were the clear calls to abstain from ungodly behavior. FAR fewer were the calls to what I SHOULD be pursuing for the sake of Christ and His kingdom. I wonder if we are often doing little more than substituting PG alternatives for the R rated world surrounding our kids. Instead of graphic movies we encourage our kids to watch clean, appropriate ones. Instead of TV shows that promote teenage sexual activity we only let them watch shows that are more wholesome.” Instead of parties where drinking and other irresponsible behavior will be going on, we have them throw their own party where more innocent fun can be enjoyed by all their friends. Not that there is anything wrong with watching a good movie or having fun with your friends… but is this what the kingdom of heaven is about? Is this only what Christ is calling them to? To watch cleaner TV and show more restraint in their physical dating relationships than their secular counterpart? When it comes down to it, are we letting our kids buy into the premise that life is about what we want and enjoy as long as we don’t go against any “Biblical standards”? I am convinced that the power of that mindset is grossly inadequate to overcome the power of the “billboard.” The Biblical standard is that life is about dying to ourselves to live for the glory of God. And when we see that truly- actively- lived out, its power is limitless.
In thinking on this topic of staying pure in a corrupt generation, I thought of James 1:27, where James says one part of pure and undefiled religion is keeping yourself uncorrupted by the world. Do you know the other part he mentions in that verse? Caring for widows and orphans. Actions rooted in the exact opposite of our own needs and wants. I don’t think these particular two components of religion are unrelated to each other either- one fuels the other. The more we walk in the steps of Christ who gave himself to those who had nothing, the more beautiful we realize Him to be. And the more we treasure His beauty, the less alluring the darkness of the world is. And the more we distance ourself from the darkness of the world, the more we desire to live like Christ and give ourselves away to those in need… but maybe you are thinking that caring for widows and orphans doesn’t sound like a very “kid” thing to do. I felt a little of this too at first. It sounds more like an adult responsibility. But let’s be honest- does it seem like the majority of adults who know Christ prioritize caring for widows and orphans- the least, the last and the helpless? Some may argue that this part of pure religion falls mainly to those with the “gift of serving.” Except God’s anger with His people collectively in Isaiah 58 centered on their neglect to care for the poor, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, free the imprisoned, to spend THEMSELVES on behalf of the needy, etc… Maybe He knows something about where the power is found to overcome the corrupting draw of this world. And maybe it doesn’t have too terribly much to do with the way a lot of us order “our” world and what that communicates to our kids. Yikes. That sounded a bit harsh. But what if those of us in the church started our week by saying, “The gospel must be preached to the poor. The hungry must be fed. Jesus’ grace and hope must be held out for the oppressed, the homeless and the needy. How can I pour myself out for that this week?” These are the things in Isaiah 58 the Lord says lead to our light breaking forth like the dawn, our godliness leading us forward, the renewal of our strength and God’s continual guidance. We are very busy. We have jobs, goals and financial responsibilities. But what might happen for our families if we redefined our lives based on what is important to God? These are big things to say, I know. It makes me think of G.K. Chesterton’s famous words, “Christianity has not been tried and found wanting. It has been found difficult and left untried.” God is calling our kids to something so much greater than mere moral restraint or PG ways of enjoying themselves. What are we showing them of that kind of life?
